COPY. PASTE. REHAB.

“A little less fight and a little more spark, close your mouth and open your heart. -Elvis”

“LIKE if you're still stuck at the Kid's table.”

“"The Thanksgiving meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate myself." -Louis CK”

“Some of us live thousands of miles away from our families and don't get to be with them during the holidays. Jealous?”

“Thanksgiving Wishes...May you sit at the kids table for as many years as possible.”

“An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day.”

“On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment - halftime.”

“Remember what matters most in life... family, friends, faith, and freedom... for all of these things we give thanks! Happy Thanksgiving to All!”

“Everyday should be Thanksgiving! Don't forget to always give thanks, even in the hardest times in your life! ”

“"If the only prayer you said in your whole life was, "thank you," that would suffice." -Happy Thanksgiving!”

“"Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Happy Thanksgiving!”

“What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it? Liberty, Equality and bad aim for all.”

“Don't forget to set your scales back ten pounds this week! Happy Thanksgiving!”

“On this Thanksgiving, I am most thankful for my mom, for bringing me into this world, putting up with all my antics growing up and for being there for me through all my ups and downs!”

“It's not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, that is the true measure of our thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“The Indians must have introduced the Pilgrims to weed, cause there is no way we were meant to eat this much food...someone had the munchies... ”

“Thanksgiving is a day for family, football, good food and giving thanks for all you have! On this Thanksgiving remember to never take the good things in your life for granted! Happy Thanksgiving! ”

“"Be thankful for what you have; you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough." Oprah Winfrey - Happy Thanksgiving! ”

“Thanksgiving is not all about turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. It's about family and taking a moment to give thanks for what we have...Happy Thanksgiving!”

“I saw a man at the beach yelling "Help, shark! Help!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.”

“Somebody needs to start a dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.”

“Say what you will about Kristen Stewart's acting abilities, but I'm willing to bet she'd kick some serious ass in a poker game.”

“Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be unhappy to find out it's not them.”

“Relationships would be easier if people came with a ???Clear History??? button.”

“There is a fine line between being tan and looking like you rolled in Doritos.”

“Maybe its Maybelline...or maybe its Photoshop.”

“If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.”

“Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory is the most whimsical film about the systematic murder of children that I have ever seen.”

“Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.”

“Facebook is still the best way to keep in touch with people you don't want to keep in touch with.”

“I refuse to watch any presidential debates until both candidates are hooked up to lie detectors.”

“On this Thanksgiving, I am thankful that I'm not a turkey. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“"Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good." Maya Angelou - Happy Thanksgiving!”

“"I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder." G.K. Chesterton - Happy Thanksgiving!”

“"Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude." Ralph Waldo Emerson - Happy Thanksgiving! ”

“"Let us be grateful to the people who make us happy; they are the charming gardeners who make our souls blossom." Marcel Proust - Happy Thanksgiving! ”

“"Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others." Marcus Tullius Cicero - Happy Thanksgiving!”

“We may be miles apart but I'd like to say that you're close to my heart. I wish you could be here with us. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“May you have plenty to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day. Have a blessed Thanksgiving!”

“May you enjoy the tasty turkey and pumpkin pie, and your life be stuffed with good cheer and joy! Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Thank you for touching my life in ways you may never know. My riches do not lie in material wealth, but in having friends like you. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“This year, we need to return to the values of the first Thanksgiving: a return to reflection, a return to appreciation for what we have, a return to thanks. We must give thanks for all the blessings we enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving!”

“There are two parts to Thanksgiving: The THANKS part and the GIVING part. Let's not forget to do both.”

“Hoping that your Thanksgiving is full of love, warmth and special moments. Have a happy Thanksgiving!”

“On this Thanksgiving Day, I wish to say that I am so thankful to have you in my life. Thank you for always loving me.”

“Thankful for each and every day, Thankful for friends we've made along the way, Thankful for family so dear to our hearts, Thankful for our work as each new day starts. Thankful for all the blessings each day brings, I'm so Thankful for all these things. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Thank you for everything amazing in my life, all of you who are so special to me and are there for me everyday!”

“Today is wear your stretchiest pair of yoga pants day! Happy Thanksgiving!”

“I think it's funny how everyone is suddenly thankful for everything just because its Thanksgiving.”

“Happy Thanksgiving! Be thankful for everything you have.”

“Summer is like the ultimate one-night stand... hot as hell, totally thrilling, and gone before you know it.”

“Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!”

“May you have the spookiest Halloween ever tonight. It is the time when good is taken over by evil, when the angels are replaced by demons and when the day is swallowed by everlasting night. ”

“Halloween isn't really that different than any other day... everyone's still pretending to be someone or something their not.”

“Exercise should be more like Trick or Treating... Walk 20 feet, get a piece of candy, walk 15 feet, get a piece of candy...”

“I am alone...I am utterly alone...”

“86% of Americans decorate their houses for Halloween... that means 14% of America is lame.”

“Why don't skeletons like parties?... They have no-body to dance with!”

“I think for Halloween I am going to go as Karma. Some of you should be worried.”

“I want to wear the scariest costume I can think of to work for Halloween this year, so I'm going as a pregnancy test.”

“Never Trust the Living! -Beetlejuice”

“I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.”

“For Halloween I'm going to write "Life" on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers.”

“Thoughts of you Haunt me Day and Night! Happy Halloween!”

“Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.”

“Just change the name of the Damn month to Halloween instead of October. Happy Halloween!”

“One year dad dressed as "World's Greatest Ninja" for Halloween and it was so good we haven't seen him since.”

“I need to borrow someones kid for Halloween. I miss free candy.”

“Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.”

“I may just show up to work well rested with a positive attitude and call it my Halloween costume.”

“Nothing on Earth so beautiful as the final haul on Halloween night. Happy Halloween!”

“If you really want to scare everyone this Halloween, dress up as intimacy.”

“I'm surprised kids haven't found a way to trick or treat online yet.”

“Dear Government: Please make the day after Halloween a National Holiday. Sincerely, Adults with Children and/or Hangovers”

“Decades have gone by and STILL my parents have not given back the Halloween candy they took from me "for safe keeping".”

“Not saying I'd rather eat a bowl of thumb tacks than a bowl of candy corn just saying it'd be a difficult choice. Happy Halloween!”

“I don't know what's scarier. Houses with Halloween decorations or houses that still have up Christmas decorations from last year.”

“Why can't Ghosts have babies? Cuz' they have Hollow weenies! ”

“Halloween is my favorite holiday where you can trespass on a stranger's property and make a non-negotiable demand.”

“Halloween: The one time of year your parents allow you to go out in the dark of night, dressed like a weirdo, and receive candy from strangers.”

“Halloween Drinking Game: Drink every-time an Elsa (from Frozen) visits your house.”

“Happy Halloween... may all of your skeletons stay in the closet where they belong!”

“If I pay $40 to enter a haunted house, I better die!”

“Halloween is a LIFESTYLE not a Holiday!”

“Halloween is a Magical Night of Make-Believe... Have a Happy Halloween!”

“Brace Yourself! Annoying Halloween statuses are coming!”

“May this be the scariest night of your life. Have a Happy Halloween!”

“When you buy Halloween candy to hand out as an adult, it's like you are paying for all the free candy you got when you were a kid.”

“I need to stop lying to myself... This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween.”

“My summer vacation consists of periodically noticing the exotic beach location I use as my desktop wallpaper.”

“I hope your summer is just like a little box filled with surprises.”

“Dear Homework, They may be doing you, but all the think about is me. Sincerely, Summer”

“Summer should get a speeding ticket.”

“Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash they're gone. -Nicholas Sparks”

“Every SUMMER has it's own STORY...but mine is a NOVEL...”

“That awkward moment when you write a super long, heartfelt note in someones yearbook and they write, "Have a Great Summer!"”

“Just the smell of summer can make me fall in love...”

“Summer Vacation: Where you drink triple, see double and act single.”

“Summer is where the girls go barefoot and their hearts are just as free as their toes.”

“I wonder what the blood alcohol level is of all these mosquitos that keep biting me?”

“Live in the Sunshine, Swim in the Sea, Drink the Wild Air...It's Summer!”

“Summer: Hair gets lighter. Skin gets darker. Water gets warmer. Drinks get colder. Music gets louder. Nights get longer. Life gets better.”

“Here's to the Summer Nights that turned into mornings with the Friends who became Family...”

“I'm glad it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is!”

“Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language. -Henry James”

“Some people are just like Summer... NO CLASS!”

“The bigger the summer vacation the harder the fall.”

“Good Times and Tan Lines, Salt in the Air, Sand in my Hair...Summer is Here!”

“Deep summer is when laziness find respectability. -Sam Keen”

“Summertime is always the best of what might be. -Charles Bowden”

“Wishing you the warmth of good friends, the joy of a happy family, and the wonder of the holiday season. Have a magical Thanksgiving! ”

“Summer Love, Midnight Kisses, Shooting Stars, Secret Wishes...”

“You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf...Enjoy your summer!”

“Another Sun-Soaked Season Fades Away... Take me Where Summer Never Ends...”

“Blue Skies, Hot Guys, Late Nights, Water Fights...It's Finally Summer!”

“Summer Dreams Ripped at the Seams but Oh those summer nights...”

“Summer: When the waves kiss your feet and the Sand is your seat, and your friends outnumber the stars...”

“I have a DREAM, of a NEVER-ENDING SUMMER!”

“The SUN and the SAND and a DRINK in my hand...Happy Summer!”

“Last Summer... We didn't know we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun...”

“The 1st day of Summer is here... Bring on the Fun!”

“If Life is a Beach, I'm just playing in the SAND...”

“Summer is filled with Breaking the Rules, Standing Apart, Ignoring your Head and Following your Heart!”

“Summer Goals: Explore new places, Meet new faces, Try Something New, Make good memories...”

“Take me to the Ocean, Take me to the Sea, Watermelon and Flip-flops, Happiness and Glee!”

“Wake me up when SUMMER Begins...”

“SUMMER: Waking up to the sound of a lawnmower, the smell of chlorine in your hair, spending every day with best friends, bonfires on the beach and the feeling of impending love...”

“Go with the waves...Happy Summer!”

“It's Summer and time for Wandering...”

“Happiness is the Last Day of School! Summer is Here!”

“KEEP CALM and Enjoy Summer!”

“I am a true oceanoholic...Let the Summer Begin!”

“It's almost summer! Time to find out what my friends with swimming pools have been up to since last summer!”

“This SUMMER... Let the Sun Shine through your Heart...”

“A Good Friend knows all your Summer Stories, but a BEST Friend has lived them all with you...”

“Time on the Beach is Never Wasted...”

“The Waves of the Sea help me get back to ME...Happy Summer!”

“Sunshine Warmth, Bright Smiles and Happy Thoughts are my wishes for you all this Summer!”

“Swim in the Sea, Go on Roadtrips, Count the Stars, Find True Love, Be Free... For that is the way of the Summer...”

“LESS MONDAYS...MORE SUMMER!”

“What do I want to take home from my summer vacation? Time. The wonderful luxury of being at rest. The days when you shut down the mental machinery that keeps life on track and let life simply wander. The days when you stop planning, analyzing, thinking and just are. Summer is my period of grace.”

“I've got that Summertime Sadness...”

“I love early summer mornings...when it feels like the rest of the world is still fast asleep and you're the only one who's awake and everything feels like it isn't really real and you kind of forget about your problems because for now it's just you, the world and the summer sunrise...”

“We Laugh until we think we'll die, Barefoot on a Summer Night...”

“I've been waiting all winter to complain about this summer heat...”

“Summer is the most beautiful time of year...Enjoy it while you can!”

“You are only one Swim away from a good Mood...Happy Summer!”

“I live for the Summer Nights I won't remember with the people I won't forget...”

“No price is set on the lavish summer; June may be had by the poorest comer. -James Russell Lowell”

“We are tied to the ocean...and when we go back to the sea whether it is to Sail or to Swim... We are going back from where we came.”

“Let us lay in the summer sun, stare into the clouds and count every beautiful thing we can see...Summers here!”

“On this beautiful summer day, the heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!”

“In every girls life, there's a boy she'll never forget and a summer where it all began.”

“Dear Summer, I broke up with Winter... I miss you!”

“Beach sand, perfect tans... Day walks, night talks... Sleepless nights, pillow fights, and spending every day with those who matter most. It's Summer!”

“Summer Bodies are made in Winter...”

“Even the hottest sands cool on the quietest of Summer nights, Happy Summer!”

“Summer would be so boring without my CRAZY friends...”

“Strap on your Bikinis and hit the beach because the boys there are oh so sweet!”

“Summer = No school, no tests, waking up late...Welcome Summer!”

“Summer is messy, Summer is fun, Summer is spending all day in the Sun... Summer is campfires, smores and late nights, Summer is windy days spent flying kites, Summer is Tan lines and splashing in lakes, Summer is mornings with chocolate pancakes, Summer is time spent with family and friends, Summer is hoping the fun never ends...”

“Some beach somewhere, there's a big umbrella casting shade over an empty chair. Palm trees are growing, warm breezes blowing. I picture myself there, some beach somewhere. -Blake Shelton”

“Summer is the season of irresponsibility.”

“Then followed that beautiful season... Summer... Filled was the air with a dreamy and magical light; and the landscape lay as if new, Created in all the freshness of childhood. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow”

“Palm trees, ocean breeze, salty air, sun kissed hair... That endless summer, take me there.”

“Late nights, Bikinis, Short shorts, Flip flops, Sunglasses, Sunshine, Loud music, Beaches, No makeup... I Love Summer!!! ”

“My bathing suit told me to go to the gym but my sweat pants were like, "Nahhh girl, you're good..."”

“Partying like crazy, You know the drill, Tanning all day, Nights dressed to kill, Nothings going to replace these days Oh so sweet, Summer Vacation, Life in the Heat!”

“I wanna be free, Wind in my hair, Salt on my skin, Sun in the air... Welcome Summer!”

“KEEP CALM it's almost summer...”

“Happiness is a cool summer breeze, sand between your toes and your best friends by your side.”

“Summer vacation is sweet encouragement for your hard work from deep love.”

“Expectations of Summer: Going to the Beach everyday, water fights, parties, random day trips, BBQs...Reality of Summer: Moving your laptop so the sunlight doesn't reflect on the screen while you are trying to browse the internet.”

“Just chill out and have a good time, it's summer!”

“Summer Lake Life: Have fun, Lay in the Sun, Relax, Kick back, Take it Slow, Speed Boat, Chips and Dip, Jump In, Take a Swim...”

“Take me where Summer Never Ends...”

“The tans will fade but the memories will last forever...”

“This SUMMER I'm gonna have fun, wear flip-flops and Chill in the Sun, Forget about School & Be CRAZY, Wake up in the Afternoon & Be Lazy”

“Cause I'm just a summer girl, I wear my flip flops; And when I let my hair down, That's when the party starts; And who needs a boyfriend, I've got my girlfriends, And when we get together the summer never ends. -Summer Girl”

“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer. -F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby”

“SUMMER: When you spend all day in your bathing suit and all night look for it...”

“I was supposed to have a nice body for people to look at this summer at the pool...But there is one small problem...I love food more than I love people...”

“Summer is about letting go of your past, Forgetting about the next school year & Living in the Moment with Friends that will always be by your side...”

“At the beach, life is different, time doesn't move from hour to hour, but mood to moment. we live by the currents, plan by the tides, and follow the sun.”

“SUMMER: Where all the days run into each other, and nights belong to lust and lovers & every day is Saturday night...”

“Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. -John Lubbock”

“When the Sun gets HOT and the Moon gets HAZY...Summer is here and it's gonna get CRAZY!”

“Good Times + Crazy Friends = Amazing Summer Memories”

“Amazing Friends, Summer Nights, Chocolate Ice Cream, Mudslide Fights, Half the Summer is Gone already so let's spend the rest of it Slow and Steady...”

“I went to camp hoping to make friends but I ended up with family...”

“I love summer and I have always loved the beach. The smell of the salty water, the wind in my face, the gentle roar of the waves all combine to create a sense of peace and calm.”

“Beach Days, Flip-Flops, Bathing Suits, Tank Tops, Short Shorts, Banging Tan, Hot Days, Warm Sand, Summer Lovin', Beach Gear, Getting Ready, Summer's Here!”

“Relaxing by the Pool, Not having to go to School, Hanging out with Friends, I hope Summer never ends...”

“I love how summer just wraps it's arms around you like a warm summer blanket.”

“and the summer night was giving in to the lure of autumns sway... Goodbye Summer!”

“A heat wave? In the Summer? But that NEVER happens! Except every year. At this very same time. Since forever.”

“TRUE FRIENDS are the Sugar in the Lemonade of Summer...”

“Summer is officially over... Time to remember what day of the week it is...”

“LIFE needs more Beaches and Bonfires...”

“Tears of joy are like the Summer Raindrops pierced by sunbeams...”

“Summer is about getting CRAZY with your best friends, flirting with that ONE guy you've got your eye on, looking cute in the perfect swimsuit, and making the best memories possible...”

“Give me a SUMMER to REMEMBER!”

“I love being on Summer Vacation and never knowing what day of the week it is!”

“Let the SEA set you FREE! Have a great summer!”

“If anyone needs me, I'll be on the BEACH building SandCastles...”

“KEEP CALM it's almost SUMMER!”

“August is like the Sunday of Summer...”

“Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid...”

“Because it's summer and the memories are waiting to happen...”

“Smell the Sea and Feel the Sky, Let your Soul and Spirit Fly...Enjoy Summer!”

“During this summer heat wave, please remember to dress for the body you have, not for the body you want.”

“As long as I live, Whatever I do, As Great as it is, You know whats a bummer? It ain't gonna beat this summer with You... - Brad Paisley”

“Beach Rules: Rest, Relax, Recharge”

“Best Friends make everyday feel like Summer Vacation...”

“Summer just has a way of showing us who really matters in our lives, who never did and who never will...”

“One million Memories, Ten Thousand Inside Jokes, One Hundred Shared Secrets, One Reason: Summer with your Best Friends”

“I intend to spend my summer with the people who mean the most to me...My Best Friends...”

“Summer bachelors like summer breezes, are never as cool as they pretend to be. -Nora Ephron”

“Friends + Summer...They Just go together.”

“It's Finally Summer and the Memories are just waiting to happen, Let the Summer Begin!”

“Summer Days just sittin' around, but when the sun goes down I'll be ready to party, ain't nothing like those Summer Nights!”

“There's no place like Summer Camp! I don't get homesick, I get campsick!”

“Summer Break is like Childhood, It's Full of Warm Memories and Gone too soon...”

“Summer was meant for Good Friends and Great Adventure...”

“Learn how to Find a Little Piece of Mind...Enjoy Summer!”

“I want a summer with kisses under starry night skies, counting stars on the hood of a car, singing woah- oh, no fact or fiction or storyline, fast times, times we feel alive, nights where we forget to get back home, because these are the days we will always remember, for always forever...”

“Enjoy the Little Things this Summer...”

“Hope your Summer is a SPLASH of Good times!”

“Here Comes the Sun, It's Alright...Happy Summer!”

“SUMMER-the period of finest development, perfection or beauty previous to any decline...”

“This Summer Put your Phone Away and Make some Memories for Yourself, You won't Regret it...”

“Welcome to the Beach: No Watches, No Worries, No Clock, No Cares, No Deadlines, No Drama Anywhere”

“Never gonna grow up, Never gonna slow down, Caught up in a Southern Summer, Barefoot, Blue Jean Night -Jake Owen”

“Summer vacation is when you drink triple, see double and act single!”

“aint nothing like them Summer Nights with your best friends...”

“I know I am but summer to your heart, and not the full four seasons of the year. -Edna St. Vincent Millay”

“Welcome Summer: Bring on the Bonfires, Swimming, Fishing and warm summer nights!”

“The summer night is like a perfection of thought. -Wallace Stevens”

“I NEED VITAMIN SEA... HAPPY SUMMER!”

“Summertime is Always the Best of What Might Be...”

“So here's to all those summer nights when my feet hit the sand and the waves break my fall and all my friends around me out number the stars.”

“WILD, YOUNG & FREE, For Summer I will Be...”

“A Summer I'll Always Remember With People I'll Never Forget”

“Happiness is planning a summer trip to somewhere new with someone you love...”

“A life without love is like a year without summer. -Swedish Proverb”

“Summer is a promissory note signed in June, its long days spent and gone before you know it, and due to be repaid next January. -Hal Borland”

“Summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well.”

“In the summertime when the weather is high, you can stretch right up and touch the sky...”

“A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken. -James Dent”

“Sand and Sun, Summer has Begun!”

“EAT. BEACH. SLEEP. REPEAT.”

“Life is Better at the Beach!”

“Keep your Face towards the SUNSHINE and the Shadows with FALL behind you...Happy Summer!”

“I'm a little DRUNK on you and HIGH on Summer!”

“Friends, Sun, Sand and Sea, That sounds like a Summer to Me!”

“BEACH (noun) - A place of rest, relaxation and tranquility. ”

“Summer State of Mind...”

“Grateful for Good friends, Hot Sun and Clear Water”

“Life is better in flip-flops...”

“Schools Out, Summers In, Let the Drama Stop and the Fun Begin...”

“Let us dance in the sun, wearing wild flowers in our hair... Happy Summer!”

“Blue Sky above our heads, White Sand beneath our Feet...Summer is Good! Happy Summer!”

“Sunsets & Palm Trees, Take me where I wanna be...Summertime! Happy 1st Day of Summer!”

“Some of the best memories are made in flip-flops...Happy Summer!!!”

“Summer meant watching cartoons all morning, roaming the neighborhood all day and going back home when the streetlights turned on.”

“Have the BEST SUMMER HOLIDAY EVER...Enjoy the sunshine...May you be Relaxed and Free...”

“It's a smile, it's a kiss, it's a sip of wine... it's summertime!- Kenny Chesney”

“Sending a Warm Summer Wish your Way, May it Brighten Your Day Like the Morning Rays...Happy Summer Holidays!”

“Tan skin, crazy days, late nights... Happy Summer!”

“Sweet, sweet burn of Sun and Summer Wind, and you my friend, my new fun thing, my summer fling...”

“Happy Summer Holidays! Time to recharge...”

“Live in the Sunshine, Dance in the Sea...Happy Summer Holidays!”

“It amazes me that most people spend more time planning next summer's vacation than they do planning the rest of their lives. -Patricia Fripp”

“Happiness is the Sand beneath our toes and the Sunburn on our nose...Happy Summer Holidays!”

“This summer Nothing is going to hold me back...Happy Summer Holidays!”

“Have fun in the sun! Get laid in the shade! Summer's Here!”

“Summer softens lines that winter cruelly shows.”

“I am Summer, come to lure you away from your computer... come dance on my fresh grass, dig your toes into my beaches. -Oriana Green”

“Why is summer mist romantic and autumn mist just sad?”

“In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer. -Albert Camus”

“High Tides, Good Vibes... I love Summer!”

“It's a cruel season that makes you get ready for bed while it's light out. -Bill Watterson”

“Welcome Summer! Girls just wanna have Sun!”

“Each fairy breath of summer, as it blows with loveliness, inspires the blushing rose.”

“In summer, the song sings itself. -William Carlos Williams ”

“I love my country aside from most of the people in it! Happy 4th of July!”

“Every day is independence day when you are single!”

“Ahhhhh, the 4th of July... The day where trips to the hospital start with the words, "Hold my beer and watch this!" ”

“Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.”

“200 facebook friends, 39 happy birthday posts... Either my math is wrong or my friends are mostly jerks!”

“Wishing you a happy birthday because facebook told me to!”

“Wishing you a birthday full of facebook wall posts from random highschool classmates!”

“Happy 24 Hours of Constant Facebook Notifications Day!”

“Let the reign of a thousand happy birthday posts on your facebook wall begin!”

“People don't always post on my facebook wall...but when they do they're just wishing me a happy birthday and then going to ignore me the other 364 days of the year...”

“Happy birthday to one of the most tolerable people on my facebook news feed!”

“May your facebook wall be filled with messages from people you never talk to!”

“On this day CELEBRATE what it means to be an American...Have a spectacular July 4th!”

“Happy Independence Day and thanks to all who have served for our country!”

“And so, my fellow Americans: Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. My fellow citizens of the world: Ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man. -JFK”

“I like to see a man proud of the place in which he lives. I like to see a man live so that his place will be proud of him. -Abraham Lincoln...Happy Independence Day!”

“I hope your Independence Day sparkles as brightly as the fireworks!”

“THOSE who expect to reap the blessings of FREEDOM, must, like men, undergo the fatigues of supporting it...Happy Independence Day!”

“America is much more than a geographical fact. It is a political and moral fact - the first community in which men set out in principle to institutionalize freedom, responsible government, and human equality...Have a great Independence Day!”

“As you all watch fireworks tonight, remember all those military heroes who have made huge sacrifices to defend our freedom. Happy Independence Day!”

“Let us join together on this Independence Day to enjoy and celebrate our happiness in freedom. Let us salute all those brave men and women who fought for our country. Have a Happy Independence day!”

“4th of July is a day to rejoice, be proud and salute all those brave warriors who fought for the freedom of our country. No amount of appreciation will be enough to thank them. Have an amazing 4th of July!”

“The Strength of a Nation lied in the homes of its people...Happy 4th!”

“Let us never forget that along with freedom also comes responsibility. Let us never take our freedom for granted. Happy 4th of July!”

“You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom. -Malcolm X...Happy Fourth of July!”

“May we think of freedom, not as the right to do as we please, but as the opportunity to do what is right...Happy July 4th!”

“Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all, By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall...Happy 4th of July!”

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave...Happy 4th of July!”

“Food, Family, Fourth of July and Fireworks...the 4 best F words! Have a great 4th of July!”

“Happy National "Hear fireworks all day and night being set off by drunk people you wouldn't trust with a glow stick" Day!”

“Let us never forget the brave souls that fought and served for the pride and peace of our nation. Happy 4th of July!”

“Let us make this a day to remember. It is the birthday of our beautiful nation... so with pride and salute, I am wishing you a Happy 4th of July!”

“With a true national spirit of courage, integrity, sacrifice, liberty and independence, I wish you a Happy 4th of July!”

“May the morning sun bring hope and luck to our nation today as we are celebrating more than 200 years of our Independence. Happy 4th of July to all!”

“With all the fire crackers, With all the love for game, May our nation forever shine, With its glory and fame! Happy 4th of July!”

“We are so lucky to be born in a country with such a rich heritage and culture. Let us promise to continue to work towards making America a better country each day. Happy 4th of July!”

“Nothing comes easy in life. Even our freedom fighters had to struggle to win Independence. Let us promise to work hard to make an America that is free from corruption and violence, even if we have to struggle for it. Happy July 4th!”

“I thank God for my life, for the stars and stripes, May freedom forever fly, let it ring. Salute the ones who died, The ones that give their lives, So we don't have to sacrifice, All the things we love. -Zac Brown...Happy 4th of July!”

“Everybody wants freedom, but very few want responsibility. Little do they know that these two things go hand in hand. May this 4th of July create a feeling of responsibility among the youth of our nation. Have a Happy 4th of July!”

“The secret of Happiness is Freedom and the secret of Freedom is Courage...Happy 4th of July!”

“Let freedom never perish in your hands. ~Joseph Addison...Happy 4th of July!”

“From every mountain side, Let Freedom ring...Happy 4th of July!”

“On this 4th of July remember: Freedom is the oxygen of the soul. -Moshe Dayan”

“Everything that is really great and inspiring is created by the individual who can labor in freedom. -Albert Einstein- Be Thankful this Independence Day! ”

“Then join hand in hand, brave Americans all! By uniting we stand, by dividing we fall. ~John Dickinson...Have a Happy 4th of July!”

“This nation will remain the land of the free only so long as it is the home of the brave. ~Elmer Davis...Happy July 4th!”

“We on this continent should never forget that men first crossed the Atlantic not to find soil for their ploughs but to secure liberty for their souls. -Robert J. McCracken...Have a happy 4th of July!”

“Thousands laid down their lives so that our country could enjoy this day... Never forget their sacrifice... Happy July 4th!”

“May the sun in his course visit no land more free, more happy, more lovely, than this our own country! Happy 4th of July!”

“On this 4th of July, remember: Freedom has its life in the hearts, the actions, the spirit of men and so it must be daily earned and refreshed - else like a flower cut from its life-giving roots, it will wither and die. -Dwight D. Eisenhower”

“We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. ~William Faulkner...Happy 4th of July!”

“If our country is worth dying for in time of war, let us resolve that it is truly worth living for in time of peace. Happy Independence Day!”

“I prefer liberty with danger to peace with slavery. Have a great 4th of July!”

“Those who won our independence believed Liberty to be the Secret of Happiness and Courage to be the Secret of Liberty...Happy 4th of July! ”

“We must be free not because we claim freedom, but because we practice it. Happy Independence Day!”

“What is the essence of America? Finding and maintaining that perfect, delicate balance between freedom "to" and freedom "from." Happy 4th of July!”

“The American Revolution was a beginning, not a consummation. ~Woodrow Wilson...Happy 4th of July!”

“Happy July 4th! The winds that blow through the wide sky in these mounts, the winds that sweep from Canada to Mexico, from the Pacific to the Atlantic - have always blown on free men. -Franklin D. Roosevelt”

“Those who expect to reap the blessings of freedom, must, like men, undergo the fatigue of supporting it. ~Thomas Paine...Happy 4th of July!”

“Happy 4th of July! Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, to assure the survival and success of liberty. -JFK ”

“"The Fourth of July will no longer be known as an American holiday, but as the day the world declared in one voice: "We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We're going to live on! We"re going to survive! Today we celebrate our Independence Day!" ”

“The Earth laughs in Flowers...Happy Earth Day!”

“Make Earth Day Every Day!”

“There is hope if people will begin to awaken that spiritual part of themselves, that heartfelt knowledge that we are caretakers of this planet. -Brooke Medicine Eagle ”

“Suburbia is where the developer bulldozes out the trees, then names the streets after them. Happy Earth Day!”

“Until a man duplicates a blade of grass, Nature can laugh at his so-called scientific knowledge. Remedies from chemicals will never stand in favorable comparison with the products of Nature, the living cell of a plant, the final result of the rays of the sun, the mother of all life. -Thomas Alva Edison”

“Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves. -John Muir”

“In wilderness is the preservation of the world. -Henry David Thoreau”

“Good Planets are Hard to Find. Happy Earth Day!”

“Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet, and the winds long to play with your hair. -Kahlil Gibran”

“We have met the enemy and he is us. Let's all do our part on Earth Day!”

“East or West, Going Green is Best! Happy Earth Day!”

“The Earth is what we ALL have in common. Happy Earth Day!”

“Do your little bit of good where you are; its those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. -Desmond Tutu - Happy Earth Day!”

“Oh Beautiful for smoggy skies, insecticided grain, For strip-mined mountain's majesty above the asphalt plain. America, America, man sheds his waste on thee, And hides the pines with billboard signs, from sea to oily sea. -George Carlin”

“Take nothing but pictures, Leave nothing but footprints, Kill nothing but time.”

“We come from the Earth, We return to the Earth, and in between we Garden.”

“The environment is where we all meet; where all have a mutual interest; it is the one thing all of us share. -Lady Bird Johnson”

“Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life. -Rachel Carson”

“No one can do Everything, but Everyone can do Something. Happy Earth Day!”

“The Earth has music for those who listen...”

“When we honor the earth, we honor ourselves.”

“Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better, It's not. -Dr. Seuss”

“Ya know that being unemployed has really helped to lower my carbon footprint.”

“How do we know the Earth was born on April 22nd? ”

“Dear Earth, I hope you're enjoying your STUPID DAY. Sincerely, Pluto. ”

“Earth is my favorite of all the planets in which humans live.”

“On this Earth Day, may the FOREST be with you...”

“There are no passengers on Spaceship Earth. We are all crew. -Marshall McLuhan”

“To see a world in a grain of sand and heaven in a wild flower, Hold infinity in the palms of your hand and eternity in an hour. -William Blake”

“What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on? -Henry David Thoreau”

“Humankind has not woven the web of life. We are but one thread within it. Whatever we do to the web, we do to ourselves. All things are bound together. All things connect. -Chief Seattle”

“I believe in God, only I spell it Nature. -Frank Lloyd Wright”

“There is a pleasure in the pathless woods, There is a rapture on the lonely shore, There is society, where none intrudes, By the deep sea, and music in its roar: I love not man the less, but Nature more. -George Gordon”

“When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. -John Muir”

“The proper use of science is not to conquer nature but to live in it.”

“The wealth of the nation is its air, water, soil, forests, minerals, rivers, lakes, oceans, scenic beauty, wildlife habitats and biodiversity...that's all there is. That's the whole economy. That's where all the economic activity and jobs come from. These biological systems are the sustaining wealth of the world. -Gaylord Nelson”

“Only when the last tree has died, the last river has been poisoned and the last fish has been caught will we realize we cannot eat money.”

“The best gift to our children will be safe and beautiful EARTH. Happy Earth Day!”

“Happy Earth Day! The one day people actually care about the earth...the other 364 days they're too busy killing it.”

“Remember the importance of taking care of our planet. It's the only home we have! Happy Earth Day! ”

“Happy earth day! Remember, we don't inherit the planet from our parents, we borrow it from our children.”

“My idea for a haunted house: Dimly lit grocery store sprinkled with people you haven't talked to since high school.”

“Trick or Treat! Give me something good to eat. Give me candy. Give me cake. Give me something sweet to take!”

“In honor of Earth day, I'm sending all of my work related emails to my Recycle folder.”

“I want to wish everyone a Happy Earth Day (as if we had another planetary option)!”

“If a man harbors any sort of fear, it makes him landlord to a ghost.”

“"There are nights when the wolves are silent and only the moon howls." -George Carlin”

“Halloween wraps fear in innocence, As though it were a slightly sour sweet. Let terror, then, be turned into a treat... ~Nicholas Gordon ”

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown. -H. P. Lovecraft”

“Nyctophilia - (n.) love of darkness or night; finding relaxation in the comfort of darkness.”

“Somewhere deep inside these bones and emptiness begins to grow... -Nightmare Before Christmas”

“"When I was a kid my family was really poor and I remember one Halloween I wanted to dress up really scary and my parents came home with a duck costume. I wore that costume for years! I hated it." -R.L. Stine”

“"Everyone is a moon and has a dark side, which he never shows to anybody." -Mark Twain”

“Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, "Never take candy from strangers." And then they dressed me up and said, "Go beg for it." I didn't know what to do! I'd knock on people's doors and go, "Trick or treat." "No thank you."”

“Let's Get Sheet-Faced!”

“Whatever doesn't kill you simply makes you stranger...”

“This year I'm dressing up as a Ninja... But you won't know it until it's too late. Happy Halloween!”

“"The story is told through the eyes of a madman.........who, like all of us, believed that he was sane." -Edgar Allan Poe”

“It does my heart a world of good, to see you in a box of wood...”

“"Thrilled me-filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before." -Edgar Allan Poe”

“"The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?" -Edgar Allan Poe”

“The Scariest Monsters Are the Ones That Lurk Within Our Souls...”

“Fear has many eyes and can see things underground.”

“Here in the forest dark and deep, I offer you eternal sleep.”

“Nothing beats a haunted moonlit night on All Hallows Eve... And on this fatal night, at this witching time, the starless sky laments black and unmoving. The somber hues of an ominous, dark forest are suddenly illuminated under the emerging face of the full moon. ”

“"I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind." -Edgar Allan Poe”

“"There is something haunting in the light of the moon; it has all the dispassionateness of a disembodied soul, and something of its inconceivable mystery." ~Joseph Conrad”

“May Jack-o-lanterns burning bright Of soft and golden hue, Pierce through the future's veil and show, What fate now holds for you.”

“"I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity." -Edgar Allan Poe”

“"There is no exquisite beauty... without some strangeness..." -Edgar Allan Poe”

“Eat, drink and be scary.”

“When we're together, Darling, every night is Halloween.”

“What kind of key opens a haunted house? A Spoo-key!”

“There is a child in every one of us who is still a trick-or-treater looking for a brightly-lit front porch. ”

“I'm so tired of feeling alone yet so scared of letting anyone in...”

“Aspire to Inspire before you Expire”

“"The darkest souls are not those which choose to exist within the hell of the abyss, but those which choose to move silently among us." -Dr. Loomis in Halloween”

“Don't keep calm, I'm under your bed...”

“"All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." -The Shining”

“If you are reading this, then you are blissfully unaware of what is creeping up behind you...”

“Halloween: The one day of the year that people can pretend to be anything they want...And I can just be myself...”

“"I myself am Strange and Unusual..." -Lydia in Beetlejuice”

“It's Halloween everyday isn't it? Well at least for some of us...-Tim Burton”

“What kind of streets do zombies like the best?........Dead ends”

“"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win." -Stephen King”

“Bushes quiver where shadows lean, and not a sliver of moon is seen. Near the river some goblins green, with a witch in front and a ghost in between...Happy Halloween! ”

“Silent phantoms of the night, in their robes of ghostly white, they are always to be seen, on the night of Halloween.”

“I put more thought into my Halloween costume each year then I did to my career.”

“There's nothing fun about a FUN size candy bar.”

“I am the one hiding under your bed, Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red... I am the one hiding under your stairs, Fingers like snakes and spiders in my hair... This is Halloween, this is Halloween...”

“If you want to visit a real graveyard this Halloween, just log in to Myspace.”

“The witches fly across the sky, the owls go, "Who? Who? Who?", The black cats yowl and green ghosts howl, "Scary Halloween to you!"”

“"Inside every one us, there exists a dark side. Most people rise above it, but some are consumed by it. Until there is nothing left, but pure evil." - Halloween Movie”

“Halloween is by far the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch...”

“"I feel happy to terrify kids." -R.L. Stine”

“They thought of All Hallows Night and the billion ghosts-a-wandering the lonely lanes in cold winds and strange smokes.”

“From ghoulies and ghosties, And long-leggedy beasties, And things that go bump in the night, Have a happy Halloween and try to not to scream, but I hope you enjoy a good fright!”

“Boys and girls of every age, Wouldn't you like to see something strange? Come with us and you will see, This, our town of Halloween...”

“Nothing about Halloween scares me more than how psychotically enthusiastic you already are for Halloween.”

“What do you call a witch in the desert?.......A sandwitch”

“Hell is Empty and All the Devils are Here...-Shakespeare”

“Under a red moon full of blood, scary things are rising from the mud...”

“Well take me, take me back to your bed, I love you so much that it hurts my head, I don't mind you under my skin, I'll let the bad parts in... -Brand New ”

“Ghouls and Goblins, Ghosts and Bats, Tricks and Treats and Witches Hats, Scary Creatures in the Night, Jack O' Lanterns Glowing Bright! Happy Halloween!”

“For Halloween you should go as the person you claim to be on facebook.”

“What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes?........A cereal killer”

“Jehovahs Witnesses don't celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't like random people coming to their door.”

“For Halloween I've decided the easiest thing to do is to give up caffeine. If that doesn't scare the hell out of everyone around me, nothing will.”

“Lock your doors and turn out the lights, Or ghost and goblins will spook you with fright! Jump in bed then pull the covers up tight, And close your eyes until morning hits light. Happy Halloween!”

“Keep Calm and Scary On!”

“It's Halloween! It's Halloween! The moon is full and bright. And we shall see what can't be seen on any other night. Skeletons and ghosts and ghouls, Grinning goblins fighting duels, Werewolves rising from their tombs, Witches on their magic brooms. In masks and gowns we haunt the street and knock on doors for trick or treat. Tonight we are the king and queen, For oh tonight It's Halloween!”

“I love you as certain dark things are to be loved in secret, between the shadow and the soul. ”

“Happy Halloween everyone! "Like" this status if its one of your favorite holidays and "comment" below with what you're dressing up as this year.”

“MISTY & DARK! Draw Close and Tremble, This is the night that Ghosts Assemble...Happy Halloween!”

“When witches go riding and black cats are seen, the moon laughs and whispers, 'tis near Halloween.”

“Though I know should be wary, Still I venture someplace scary! Ghostly hauntings I turn loose Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!”

“Shadows of a thousand years rise again unseen, Voices whisper in the trees, Tonight is Halloween!”

“Where there is no imagination, there is no horror.”

“By the pricking of my thumbs, something wicked this way comes.”

“Ghosts and Goblins, Spooks galore, Scary Witches at your door, Jack-O-Lanterns smiling bright, Wishing you a Happy Haunting Night!”

“When black cats prowl and pumpkins gleam, may luck be yours on Halloween...”

“Who does Dracula get letters from?..........His fang club”

“It's not Safe to Venture Out, As Goblins and Witches are All About...Happy Halloween!”

“Pumpkin Spice and Everything Nice, That's what Autumn is Made Of”

“Danger doesn't Lurk at Every Corner... It's just Hanging Out waiting for Fear and Danger to show up...”

“Don't KEEP CALM, it's Halloween! Happy Halloween Everyone!”

“It's a Full Moon Tonight, and that's when All the Weirdos are out.”

“"On Halloween, witches come true; Wild ghosts escape from dreams. Each monster dances in the park...." -Nicholas Gordon”

“HALLOWEEN: the one day I get to dress up and embarrass my kids... legally.”

“My lack of dusting skills will finally pay off on Halloween...”

“What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?..........Spare ribs”

“If you choose to believe that witches can fly, on magical broomsticks up in the sky, And Every Year at Octobers End, Ghosts upon us do descend, That Black Cats Shreik at Scary Sites, and Pumpkins Glow with Erie lights, Then once again for Me and You, Halloween is Deja BOO!!! Happy Halloween!”

“Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets?.......Boo-tiques”

“May you have the spookiest Halloween ever tonight. It is the day when all the goblins are out, the sprits have come to life and the Jack O' lanterns are waiting to give you a fright. I hope that all your fears come true this Halloween...”

“Dear Girls: No Need To Do Anything For Halloween... Just Remove The Makeup And Go To The Party”

“What would you find on a haunted beach?... A sand-witch! Happy Halloween!”

“May your Halloween Birthday be less terrifying than aging!”

“Grace isn't a little prayer you chant before receiving a meal. It's a way to live.”

“Mom, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT EVERYTHING! Happy Mothers Day!”

“Dear Mom, For enduring the blood curdling torture of my adolescent years, I promise to always keep your electronics functional. Happy Mothers Day!”

“My mom is a never ending song in my heart of happiness, comfort and being. I may sometimes forget the words but I always remember the tune. Happy Mothers Day!”

“A mother thinks about her children day and night, even if they are not with her and will love them in a way they will never understand. Thank you mom for all you do! Happy Mothers Day!”

“Mom, I couldn't afford a gift so I gave you some stretch marks. Happy Mothers Day!”

“Treat your Mom to a margarita this Mothers Day! REMEMBER, You're the reason she drinks!”

“I don't always remember to tell my Mother how much I Love her, but when I do, it's not plastered on facebook.”

“Mothers hold their children's hands for a short while, but their hearts forever. Happy Mothers Day!”

“Mom, I love you so much! Thanks for everything you have given me. You will never know how much I love you. Happy Mothers Day!”

“A man loves his sweetheart the most, his wife the best, but his mother the longest. Happy Mothers Day!”

“Happy Mothers Day to someone who did a good job raising her children and her husband!”

“Dear Mom, Thank you for using alcohol to numb the emotional trauma of raising me instead of leaving me in a box on someones doorstep.”

“MOMS! They're like DADS only smarter! Happy Mothers Day!”

“The best medicine in the world is a Mother's Hug. Happy Mothers Day to all Moms!”

“I believe in love at first sight because I've been loving my mom since I opened my eyes at birth. Happy Mothers day!”

“The strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws. Happy Mothers Day! ”

“Mom, You are an amazing mother! I love how we don't even need to say out loud that I'm your favorite child. Happy Mothers Day!”

“Happy Mothers Day from one slave to another!”

“Being a full-time mother is one of the highest salaried jobs since the payment is pure love. Happy Mothers Day!”

“A Mother's love is peace...It need not be acquired...It need not be deserved...Happy Mothers day!”

“A Mothers love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible. Happy Mothers Day!”

“My Mother: The most beautiful person on this Earth...My biggest critic...yet my strongest supporter. Happy Mothers day!”

“A Mothers light is brighter than the sun. Happy Mothers Day!”

“You've seen me laugh, You've seen me cry, And always you were there for me. I may not have always said it, but Thanks and I love you! Happy Mother's Day!”

“Mothers are roses in the garden of life. Happy Mothers Day!”

“Mom, you sure had to put up with a lot of obnoxious behavior over the years....But enough about Dad. Happy Mothers Day!”

“My Mothers Day gift to you is not deleting the embarrassing comments you make on my facebook posts. Happy Mothers Day!”

“A mother understands what a child does not say. Happy Mothers Day!”

“I smile because you're my Mother. I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it. Happy Mothers Day to the most patient mother in the world!”

“Mother's Love: The greatest unconditional and infinite love we will ever experience. Thank you mom! Happy Mothers Day!”

“Any woman can be a mother but it takes someone special to be called "Mom". Happy Mothers Day!”

“Your arms were always open when I needed a hug. Your heart understood when I needed a friend. Your gentle eyes were stern when I needed a lesson. Your strength and love has guided me and gave me wings to fly. Happy Mothers Day!”

“"My mother was the most beautiful woman I ever saw. All I am I owe to my mother. I attribute all my success in life to the moral, intellectual and physical education I received from her." -George Washington”

“I love you and care for you very much my adorable, nice, always loving Mom!”

“A mother's work is never done. She works from morning until dawn, she spreads her love and keeps you warm, but only once a year we say: Happy Mothers Day!”

“Mom, You're so crafty, you made me. You are the BEST.MOM.EVER. Happy Mothers Day!”

“This mothers day, if you have a mom that you adore, do not post a status about it, get your ass off facebook and tell her how much you appreciate her!”

“Mom, Everything I know about being AWESOME, I learned from you. Happy Mothers Day!”

“I love my mom so much. No matter what we go through and no matter how much we argue, I know at the end she will always be there for me. Happy Mother's day!”

“Once upon a memory, someone wiped away a tear, held me close and loved me unconditionally. Thank you mommy!”

“Dear Mom, Sorry about all those dumb things I did as a kid. Just be thankful you only know about half of them. Happy Mothers Day!”

“"Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There's no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving." Happy Mothers Day Mom!”

“Happy Mothers Day to someone smart enough to avoid motherhood!”

“Mom, Thanks for always thinking of me to the detriment of your own mental health. Happy Mothers Day!”

“All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my Angel Mother. I miss you mom!”

“Happy Mothers Day to someone who carried me for 9 months physically and 29 years financially! ”

“Dear Mom, I hope your Mothers day is more pleasant than labor! Happy Mothers Day!”

“Dear Mom, Thanks for tolerating Dads crap all these years so I could have an intact family! Happy Mothers Day! ”

“Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live the longest.”

“Here's a tip: When your woman is talking, pay attention. For god's sake, you know there will be a test in the future.”

“If your glass is always half empty, buy smaller glasses.”

“Experience is a cruel teacher. It gives a test before presenting the lesson.”

“You can blame absolutely everything on your parents. It's either genetics, or how they raised you.”

“Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.”

“The internet: Where the inane and stupid go head-to-head with the passionate and misinformed!”

“The key to life is balance, especially if you are on a ledge.”

“Childhood is like being drunk. Everyone remembers what you did, except for you.”

“Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. ”

“Old people at weddings always poke me n say "You're Next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals....”

“Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.”

“Your gift to me was so wonderful that I think you've been cheating.”

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them. -Mother Teresa”

“The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love.”

“When you are in love with life nothing is too hard. Everything has freshness and reason, and all is as it is.”

“True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen. Happy Valentines Day!”

“True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I'm a little weird, life's a little weird and I'm so glad I found someone who's weirdness is compatible with mine. Happy Valentines Day! ”

“If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will. Happy Valentines Day!”

“The nights I don't dream about you, are the nights I stay up thinking of you... Happy Valentines Day!”

“Find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see beauty at your ugliest, a heart that will love you at your worst... If u have found this, you've found love. I wish this for all of you in Valentines Day! Happy valentines day”

“You want & you get, that's luck, You want & you wait, that's time. You want & you compromise, that's life. But if you want & you wait & you don't compromise that's LOVE. Happy Valentines Day!”

“My heart is like a cabbage, divided in two, the leaves I give to others, the heart I give to you.”

“So many times I thought I'd never find someone to love me the way I needed to be loved. But then you came into my life and showed me what True Love really is... Happy Valentine's Day!”

“Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then life would be much simpler, but then less magical. Happy Valentines Day!”

“My love for you is beyond words so don't expect a Valentine's Day card from me.”

“Today I want you to know that I love you dearly. These years spent with you are memories that will be cherished not just remembered. Happy Valentines Day to you sweetheart!”

“A candle may melt and it's fire may die, but the love you have given me will always stay as a flame in my heart even after you're gone.”

“You are the only person I want to be with for the rest of my life and grow old with. You are the love of my life and I'll be yours forever. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and it pleases where it goes. I'm so glad it came to us. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Valentines Day is the perfect time to reflect on all your horrible dating choices since last Valentines Day.”

“To my wonderful husband(boyfriend, etc.), I give and promise YOU, ALL of MY LOVE, for ALL of MY LIFE!!! You are my fairytale come true. I love you! Happy Valentines Day!”

“When you love someone, it's nothing. When someone loves you, it's something. When you love someone and they love you back, it's everything. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I love you less than Ryan Gosling, but still really a lot! Happy Valentines Day!”

“I just wanted to tell you, on this very special Valentine's Day: I'm exceptionally thankful you lowered your standards enough to date me.”

“Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.”

“My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life... But Happy Valentines Day anyway... ”

“I don't understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine's Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.”

“Forget being my valentine for one day... Be mine forever.”

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing. Happy Valentines Day to my closest friends!”

“Love is a grave mental disease. -Plato ... Oh and Happy Valentines Day!”

“A hundred hearts would be too few, to carry all my love for you. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Valentines Day money-saving tip: Break up on Feb 13th, get back together on the 15th. Try it, it works!”

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning. Thanks for being my Valentine!”

“Valentines Day is so fake and all for show. If you love someone, you'll treat them special every day. Not once out of 365 days.”

“Thanks for giving me a Valentine's Day I don't actually have to lie about!”

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Love me Today, or I Kill you!”

“You have given me strength when I was weak, made me smile when I was sad. You showered me with love when I needed it the most. I love you for always bringing out the best in me. Happy Valentine's Day!”

“I've been waiting my whole life for someone like you. With you all my dreams seem real and possible. Happy Valentines Day! ”

“Your Valentine's Day gift to me can be letting me off the hook for not getting you a Valentine's Day gift.”

“Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart. Happy Valentine's Day!”

“The art of love is largely the art of persistence. Have a Happy Valentines Day!”

“May this Valentine's Day be filled with love, understanding, and contentment as you journey through life with those you love.”

“Love unlocks doors and opens windows that didn't even exist before. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Life's greatest happiness is to know we are loved. Thanks for being the best Valentine ever!”

“Happy Valentines Day! I'm glad you recognize how terrible your life would be without me. ”

“Some love lasts a lifetime. True love lasts forever. Happy Valentines day!”

“Love is not having someone give you the world. Love is creating a whole new world together. Happy Valentines Day!”

“When daylight turns to a darkened hue, and lovely stars are hinting at you, your heart beat tells you something true, that someone somewhere is missing you! Happy Valentines Day!”

“I miss the laughs I used to get from you, I miss the talks we used to have, and, above all, I just miss YOU! Happy Valentines Day!”

“I'm enthralled by your beauty, mesmerised by your charisma and spellbound by your love. No wonder I am always thinking about you. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I would cross a thousand oceans just to hold you tight. I would climb a thousand mountains just to be with you every single night. I'm so glad that today you are my Valentine...”

“Every time I look at you it's like the first time... I get butterflies, feel like I'm on cloud 9 and know it's true love! I love you with all my heart! Happy Valentines Day!”

“Wanting you is easy, missing you is hard. Wishing you were with me wrapped up in my arms. Constantly think of you, when we are apart. I've got the padlock, you have the key to my heart. Happy Valentines Day!”

“It takes 2 to tango, 2 to kiss, 2 to talk and reminisce. So many good things come in 2's and one of those things is me and you! Happy Valentines Day!”

“Love is a medicine for any kind of wound, but there is no medicine in the world for a wound given by love.”

“You want & you get, that's luck, You want & you wait, that's time. You want & you compromise, that's life. But if you want & you wait & you don't compromise that's LOVE. ”

“A kiss is just a kiss till you find the one you love. A hug is just a hug till you find the one you're always thinking of. A dream is just a dream till it comes true. Love was just a word till I heard it from you. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Love is like a cloud... Love is like a dream... Love is one word and everything in between... Love is a fairytale come true... Cause I found Love when I found you. Happy Valentines Day!”

“The only thing we never get enough of is love; and the only thing we never give enough of is love. Happy Valentines Day! ”

“Love isn't a decision, it's a feeling. If we could decide who to love, then life would be much simpler, but then less magical. ”

“Love is a medicine for any kind of wound, but there is no medicine in the world for a wound given by love. I hope everyone else is having a Happy Valentines Day... ”

“If you find yourself in a dark room with blood everywhere and the walls are shaking... Don't worry, you are in the safest place, you are in my heart. Happy Valentines Day!”

“If I could give you one thing in life, I would give you the ability to see yourself through my eyes, only then would you realize how special you are to me. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Loving is not how you forget, but how you forgive, not how you listen, but how you understand, not what you see, but how you feel, and not how you let go, but how you hold on.”

“Loving is not how you forget, but how you forgive, not how you listen, but how you understand, not what you see, but how you feel, and not how you let go, but how you hold on. Happy Valentines Day!”

“When you love someone, it's nothing. When someone loves you, it's something. When you love someone and they love you back, it's everything.”

“The art of love... is largely the art of persistence.”

“Love is like a butterfly. It goes where it pleases and it pleases where it goes.”

“Wow, you are gonna love the Valentines Day plans you told me to make. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I'm so glad I found someone as RANDOM as me. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I want to travel the world with two things in my hands. Camera on my right and HIS hand on my left.”

“The true measure of a man is not how he behaves in moments of comfort and convenience but how he stands at times of controversy and challenges.”

“One of the simplest ways to stay happy is to simply let go of the things that makes you sad.”

“Sometimes people don't realize what they are made of until someone special comes along and shows them how amazing they really are.”

“Don't lose hope. When the sun goes down, the stars come out.”

“If I fall asleep texting you, it's because I didn't want to say goodbye.”

“Don't try and perfect yourself for one person... Instead wait for the one person to come along who loves your imperfections.”

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Valentines Day Sucks and so do you!”

“Take comfort in knowing your Valentine's Day as a single person will still be more romantic than Valentine's Day as a married person.”

“U + Me + Bacon = The Perfect Valentines Day!”

“Love is like a box of chocolates... Sweet at first and then you want to puke! Happy Valentines Day!”

“Somewhere theres someone who dreams of your smile, and finds in your presence that life is worthwhile. So when you are lonely, remember its true: Somewhere a STALKER is thinking of you. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I love you like zombies love brains. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Cupid rhymes with Stupid. Have a nice day...”

“Peace, Love and Death to Cupid... I hope everyone else has a better Valentines Day than me...”

“Life is too short to argue and fight. Count your blessings, value your friends and move on with your head held high and a smile for everyone.”

“If 5 seconds of smiling can make a photograph more beautiful then just imagine, if you keep always smiling, how beautiful your life will be.”

“Never look back unless there's an attractive stranger behind you!”

“Me LOVE you Long Time... Happy Valentines Day!”

“Valentines Day... Because Love isn't quite Complicated enough as it is...”

“They won't be able to fit what I'm about to do to you on a conversation heart. See ya tonight. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I love you more than Kanye West loves himself. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Rest Assured that however crappy your Valentines Day is, Instagram and Photoshop can make it look romantic!”

“There's no one else I'd rather spend this annual obligation with. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Today is the perfect day to belittle our single friends.”

“One of the most amazing feelings in the world is having someone fall in love with you who you thought you never had a chance with.”

“You auto-complete me! Happy Valentines Day!”

“Thinking of Facebook Stalking you this Valentines Day!”

“Valentines Day is all about the Chocolate!”

“The only way I could love you more is if you were wrapped in bacon. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Love is a promise, love is a souvenir, once given never forgotten, never let it disappear. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Don't say we are not right for each other, the way I see it is... we are not right for anyone else.”

“May your Valentines Day be so amazing it disgusts all your single friends!”

“I miss our long talks, your smile, your laugh, your smell, your kisses and your hugs. I wish I could have them back. ”

“The past can hurt but the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it.”

“If I had to live without you I'd shoot myself......but only in the foot. I mean I love you, but I'm not an idiot.”

“I'm using Pinterest to show people the perfectly romantic Valentine's Day I won't be having.”

“Happy Early Valentines Day to someone who should already be planning the greatest Valentines Day of my life.”

“If you ever get mauled by a bear with a chainsaw, I hope he stays away from your face... cause I think you are kinda cute... Happy Valentines Day!”

“I love with all my butt, I would say heart but my butt is bigger. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I was wondering if you could lend me money for the perfect Valentines Day date I want to take you on?”

“You're the Iceberg to my Titanic. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I hope my casual jokes about my cat being my valentine make it seem less sad that my cat actually is my valentine.”

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Vodka Costs Less than Dinner for Two... Happy Valentines Day!”

“I love you as much as I love naps... and that's saying a lot. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Happy Valentines Day... Sorry I'm not Ryan Gosling.”

“My love for you burns stronger than a urinary tract infection. Happy Valentines Day!”

“I've fallen in love many times... but always with you. Happy Valentines Day!”

“My goal for 2015 is to...Accomplish the goals of 2014 which I should've done in 2013 because I promised them in 2012 and planned them out in 2011.”

“I hope one of your New Year's resolutions is to stop tagging me in New Year's photos.”

“You make me feel beautiful, you still give me butterflies, just the thought of you brightens my day, you love me for me, you make me so happy. I love you. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Drop everything now, Meet me in the pouring rain, Kiss me on the sidewalk, Take away the pain. I see sparks fly every time you smile. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Every day that goes by it seems like I discover something new about you to love, it's incredible to me how one person can make such a difference in my life... I hope we have a great Valentines Day together!”

“"Stalking" is such a strong word, I prefer "Intense Research of an Individual."”

“Whoever told me to follow my heart is going to get shanked. Follow your brain... Your heart is an idiot! And Happy Valentines Day to all you idiots! ”

“Screw Valentines Day! Fat babies carrying bows and arrows are creepy anyway...”

“You make my heart have premature ventricular contractions! Happy Valentines Day!”

“We've got this gift of love, but love is like a precious plant. You can't just accept it and leave it in the cupboard or just think it's going to get on by itself. You've got to keep watering it. You've got to really look after it and nurture it. -John Lennon”

“The cure for all ills and wrongs, the cares, the sorrows and the crimes of humanity, all lie in the one word 'love.' It is the divine vitality that everywhere produces and restores life. -Lydia Maria Child”

“Love is temporary, but friends are forever.”

“Love is temporary, but friends are forever. Happy Valentines Day to the best friends a girl could have!”

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

“Love is not blind; it sees more, not less. But because it sees more, it is willing to see less.”

“Love is blind. Marriage is the eye-opener.”

“One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry. -Oscar Wilde”

“I love the way you make me happy, and the ways you show you care. I love the way you say, 'I Love You,' and the way you're always there. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Find arms that will hold you at your weakest, eyes that will see beauty at your ugliest, a heart that will love you at your worst... If you have found this, you've found love. ”

“If Roses were black and violets were brown, my love for you would never be found, but roses are red and violets are blue, all I want to say is I LOVE YOU! Happy valentines day!”

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.”

“I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe "go to hell". Thanks for ruining my Valentines Day!”

“Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. Hope you have a terrible Valentines Day!”

“You are the one person I want to survive the apocalypse with... Happy Valentines Day!”

“I'd like to say thank you to all the people who came into my life this year and made it outstanding and also to all the people who walked out of my life and made it fantastic!”

“My New Years resolution is to write "2015" instead of "2014". Wish me luck!”

“There are Years that Ask Questions, and Years that Answer. -Zora Neale Hurston”

“For my new year's resolution, I promise to stop correcting your terrible spelling and focus more on your horrific grammar.”

“There have been many times in 2016 when I may have disturbed you, troubled you, irritated you, and bugged you. Today I just wanna tell you... . . . . . . I plan to continue all of that in 2015.”

“Thanks for not laughing at my absurdly unattainable New Year's resolutions.”

“Dear God, my prayer for 2015 is a fat bank account and a thin body. Please don't mix these up like you did this year.”

“Wishing You A Happy New Year as we Welcome the New Year Into Our Hearts and Into The Center Of Our Minds...May We Continue to be Helpful To Others and May our Kindness Spread Like a Wildfire...”

“May we all Scatter Endless Happiness across 2015! Happy New Year!”

“May you always be blessed with walls for the wind, a roof for the rain, a warm cup of tea by the fire, laughter to cheer you, those you love near you and all that your heart might desire. -Irish Blessing”

“In the New Year, may your right hand always be stretched out in friendship, but never in want. -Irish Toast”

“For a new year to bring you something new, make a move, like a butterfly tearing its cocoon! Make a move! Happy New Year!”

“Welcome 2015! We Look Forward To... A Year of Wonderful Happiness... A Year of Good Health... A Year of Great Success... A Year of Incredibly Good Luck... A Year of Continuous Fun... and A Year of World Peace...”

“"I hope that in this year to come, you make mistakes. Because if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before, and more importantly, you're Doing Something." -Neil Gaiman”

“May the coming Year rid all the darkness from your Life and help you become a better human being. Wishing You A Happy New Year!”

“Memorable Moments Are Celebrated Together, You are my Best Friend now & forever, May this New Year bring you many happy moments and much Love from others. Wishing you a Happy And Prosperous New Year 2015!”

“"Year's end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right." -Oprah Winfrey”

“Here's to the end of another crappy year we'll one day be strangely nostalgic for.”

“May Your Expectations on New Years Morning be Realized With Each And Everyday Of The Year. I Wish You all Good Health that will help you to Soar into Greater Heights towards your Destiny.”

“May you all have an amazing New Year! Remember... What the New Year brings to you will depend a great deal on what you bring to the New Year.”

“I do not make new year's resolutions. The only thing I do in excess is be awesome, and I'm sure not going to stop that in 2015.”

“I Wish To Take This Opportunity to Thank You All For What You Have Done for Me This Whole Year. Happy New Year!”

“My Wishes for you in 2015: May life give you... 12 Month of Happiness, 52 Weeks of Fun, 365 Days of Success, 8760 Hours of Good Health, 52600 Minutes of Good Luck, and 3153600 Seconds of Joy!”

“Thanks for inviting me to a New Year's party I'll have no recollection of attending.”

“Your annual booze-fueled New Year's Eve spectacle will surely inspire us all to drink less in 2015.”

“The only thing I gained from 2016 was weight.”

“For last year's words belong to last year's language, and next year's words await another voice, and to make an end is to make a beginning. Happy New Year 2015!”

“Happy New Years! Let's just resolve to repeat last year's mistakes.”

“My wishes for you in year 2015: A Great start for January, Love for February, Good Luck for March, Rebirth in April, Beautiful Flowers for May, Joy for June, Laughter for July, Fun for August, Thankfulness for November, and Giving for December. Have an amazing and wonderful 2015!”

“My New Years resolution is for you to lose weight.”

“At the dawn of a New Year is the time to unfold new horizons & realize new dreams, to rediscover the strength & faith within you, to rejoice in simple pleasures & gear up for new challenges. Wishing you a truly fulfilling 2015!”

“Each moment in a day has its own value. Morning brings HOPE, Afternoon brings FAITH, Evening brings LOVE, Night brings REST. I hope you will have all of them everyday. HAPPY NEW YEAR 2015!”

“In The Universal Bank of Life, I hope we all receive a deposit of 365 days full of love, faith & happiness. Enjoy spending it...Happy New Year!”

“It may be the antidepressants talking, but I'm feeling somewhat optimistic about 2015.”

“This is my New Years wish to all of you: May you have comfort on difficult days, smiles when sadness intrudes, rainbows to follow the clouds, laughter to kiss your lips, sunsets to warm your heart, hugs when spirits fall, beauty for your eyes to see, friendships to brighten your being, faith so that you can believe, confidence for when you doubt, courage to know yourself, patience to accept the truth, and Love to complete your life.”

“"Maybe this year, we ought to walk through the rooms of our lives not looking for flaws, but looking for potential." -Ellen Goodman”

“My New Years resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Years resolutions.”

“Happy 2015! Here is a quote to live by in this New Year: Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. - Mark Twain”

“New Years is the perfect occasion to celebrate love, friendships and all the good things in life. Let's take the time to appreciate what this year has given us and what the new one is about to bring! Happy New Years!”

“My New Year's resolution is to spend more time avoiding friends and family.”

“Let's never speak of 2016 again.”

“I hope you all have a great 2015! Even if you have no other goals this year, remember this: If you have the power to make someone happy or to make someone smile this year, do it. The world needs more of that.”

“It's time to renew that gym membership I'm never going to use again.”

“"Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever." -Walt Disney :: Happy New Year! ”

“May all your New Years Resolutions be Successful. Remember: "A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step."”

“My New Years resolution is to stop lying to myself about the lifestyle changes I'm not going to make.”

“This year let's resolve to make better bad decisions.”

“Here's to ending the New Year still having the job I wish I didn't have.”

“My New Years resolution is to decipher the hidden meaning in your resolution.”

“Let's kiss on New Year's Eve 2016 as if we might have a future together in 2017.”

“The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year, but rather that we should have a new soul.”

“A new year unfolds like a blossom with petals curled tightly hiding the beauty within.”

“New year, same goals from the last one.”

“May all your troubles last as long as your New Years resolutions.”

“Starting on New Years Day I will no longer waste my time reliving the past, instead I will spend it worrying about the future.”

“Let's not spend New Years Eve figuring out where to spend New Years Eve.”

“This year I promise to do less laundry and use more deodorant.”

“Don't be the person that looks forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.”

“Tomorrow we will open a new book. It's pages are blank and ready for us to write the words ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.”

“Don't wait for a New Year to change your perspective. Get up and change your life today.”

“May this new year bring many opportunities your way, let you explore every joy in life and turn all your dreams into reality and all your efforts into great achievements.”

“Wishing you a fabulous 2015 full of great achievements and experiences! A meaningful chapter is waiting to be written... HAPPY NEW YEAR!”

“Wishing you and your loved ones peace, health, happiness and prosperity.”

“As this New year begins, let us hope for a year of peace and happiness, full of new friends and great experiences.”

“Cheers to a New Year and another Chance for us to get it Right.”

“Don't bring 2016 issues into 2017. Have a new mind set to start this new year fresh.”

“I want to thank everyone who made me smile this past year. You know who you are so here's a big THANK YOU!”

“What did 2016 teach YOU?”

“Happy S.A.D.-Singles Awareness Day... Have fun watching the Notebook with your cat!”

“My greatest fear in life is that one day we will pass each other on some street like two strangers. Wishing you a Happy Valentines Day...”

“Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Poems are stupid and Valentines Day is too!”

“To Love without Condition, to Talk without Intention, to Listen without Judging, to Give without Reason and to Care without Expectation: The Art of a True Relationship”

“I have gained what she has lost. I love him deeply when she could not. I have mended the heart she has broken. No truer words have ever been spoken. I can't wait to spend Valentines Day with him...”

“A couple came upon a wishing well on Valentines Day. To make a wish the wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a coin. The husband decided to make a wish too. When he leaned over he fell into the well and drowned. The wife was shocked for a moment and then smiled and said, "Wow, it really worked!"”

“Roses are red, bullet are lead, now take me back or get shot in the head. Happy Valentines Day!”

“Saint Valentine was imprisoned, beaten, stoned and beheaded. And with that, enjoy your Valentines Day!”

“My greatest fear in life is that one day we will pass each other on some street like two strangers.”

“To Love without Condition, to Talk without Intention, to Listen without Judging, to Give without Reason and to Care without Expectation: The Art of a True Relationship - Happy Valentines Day!”

“My Valentine runs on batteries...”

“The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self control that is required?”

“In the forest, there was a crooked tree and a straight tree. Every day, the straight tree would say to the crooked tree, "Look at me...I'm tall, and I'm straight, and I'm handsome. Look at you...you're all crooked and bent over. No one wants to look at you." And they grew up in that forest together. And then one day the loggers came, and they saw the crooked tree and the straight tree, and they said, "Just cut the straight trees and leave the rest." So the loggers turned all the straight trees into lumber and toothpicks and paper. And the crooked tree is still there, growing stronger and stranger every day.”

“Marriage is like a dollar bill. You can't spend half of it when you tear it in two. The value of one half depends upon the other.”

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person. Happy Anniversary!”

“If you are really lucky, you will find one person who will walk through life with you no matter what happens. I happen to be that lucky. Happy Anniversary!”

“I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments and sheer lack of common decency, that you and I could be best friends in no time.”

“Two Keys to a lasting marriage: Respect and Communication”

“If you are really lucky, you will find one person who will walk through life with you no matter what happens.”

“Women worry about the things that men forget. Men worry about the things women remember. ”

“If you hear a voice within you say "you cannot paint," then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced. -Vincent Van Gogh”

“The question isn't who is going to let me; it's who is going to stop me. -Ayn Rand”

“The difference between a successful person and others is not lack of strength nor a lack of knowledge but rather a lack of will. -Vince Lombardi”

“Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. -Henry Ford”

“Too many of us are not living our dreams because we are living our fears.”

“If you don't go after what you want, you'll never have it. If you don't ask, the answer is always no. If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place. -Nora Roberts”

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. -Buddha”

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail. -Ralph Waldo Emerson”

“Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. -T. S. Elliot”

“Remember no one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt”

“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.”

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain”

“Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about.”

“There comes a time when you have to stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn't jump puddles for you.”

“Fear is the lock and laughter the key to your heart. -Crosby, Stills and Nash”

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, but always with the same person.”

“Marriage is like a dollar bill. You can't spend half of it when you tear it in two. The value of one half depends upon the other. Happy Anniversary!”

“But it was only a fantasy, The wall was too high as you can see, No matter how he tried he could not break free... -Pink Floyd ”

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make. -Beatles”

“God sometimes takes us into troubled waters, NOT to drown us, but to TEACH us.”

“THANK God for what you have. TRUST God for what you need.”

“Happy moments, Praise God. Difficult moments, Seek God. Quiet moments, Worship God. Painful moments, Trust God. Every Moment, thank God.”

“Then one day you find, ten years have got behind you. No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. -Pink Floyd”

“Be thankful for the bad things in life, for they open your eyes to the good things you weren't paying attention to before.”

“The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.”

“When someone unfriends me, I just assume that they have a low tolerance for awesome.”

“I just scrolled so far back on Facebook's Timeline it logged me back onto MySpace.”

“I changed my car horn to sound like gun shots. People get out of my way a lot faster now.”

“If the first thing you see after you die is a handbasket, you're in trouble.”

“What if aliens only abduct crazy people, because nobody will ever believe them?”

“I'm starting group meetings at my house for people who have OCD, not because I have it, but surely one of them will be bothered enough to clean it.”

“In the end we will remember not the words of our enemies but the silence of our friends.”

“I think that boa constrictors get a bad rap. They don't mean to hurt anyone they are just really caring and who doesn't need a hug?”

“The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I'm all alone in a abandoned hospital and my flash-light isn't working properly.”

“I always keep a golf club by the side of my bed when I'm asleep. Just so if anyone breaks in, they'll know I play golf and that I'm too boring to have anything worth stealing.”

“I will probably die of sleep deprivation if Facebook ever adds a dislike button. ”

“Honestly, nine times out of ten, when you say "know what I mean?", I don't.”

“Keep scrolling, I got nothing.”

“The number of words in your Starbucks coffee order is equal to the number of times I wanna kick the back of your head while standing in line. ”

“Handy tip for new parents: If you want to wake up your baby, rest your head on a pillow. ”

“I bet when Hugh Hefner dies no one will say "He's in a better place now." ”

“Say what you will about Lance Armstrong, but I think he is amazing! When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my bike. ”

“I'm in big trouble if my coworkers find out that I don't really have Tourette's.”

“I'm a very humble person, mostly because I'm so awesome. ”

“First rule of the ADHD club: Never talk about...Nice shoes! You ever own a ferret? I did. It Died. Watch me do a cartwheel! Okay, who wants cookies?”

“If you spend more time admiring your own posts then you do reading everyone else's, you're self absorbed. If you do the opposite, you're a stalker...”

“I'm sure whatever you have to say can wait till you're smarter.”

“I totally take back all those times I didn???t want to nap when I was younger.”

“Billie jean is probably my favorite song about a guy getting out of child support.”

“Relax, we're all crazy. It's not a competition.”

“I've had just about enough of everything today. Except alcohol, of course. I definitely need more of that.”

“I just burned 1600 calories in 10 minutes! I forgot about the pizza in the oven.”

“Backwards written is this realize to you take it did long how?”

“I put the dumb in wisdom...”

“I opened a Facebook page for my blow-up doll but she didn't last long. Someone poked her.”

“I dip my fist in sugar before I punch my enemies in the face. Sweet, Sweet Revenge.”

“Apparently not everyone sees the "Whats on your mind?" question where you enter your facebook status. Some people must be seeing, "Please write at least 10 pretend things you have to brag about..." or "Write the most negative thought you can think of..." or "What's a recent problem you had that you can vaguebook about?" ”

“Is "you look like someone that enjoys good food" a compliment, or was I just called fat?”

“Whenever someone looks over my shoulder while I'm on the computer, I open up a new tab and start searching, "How To Kill the person behind me." ”

“On April Fools Day, my natural distrust of others will be ratcheted up a level to borderline psychosis.”

“You should have two Facebook accounts. One for each face.”

“Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible. -Frank Zappa”

“Music was my refuge. I could crawl into the space between the notes and curl my back to loneliness. -Maya Angelou”

“A good friend knows all your best stories. A best friend has lived them with you.”

“A world without heroes is like a world without sun, you can't look up to anyone. -Kiss”

“Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.”

“Sarcasm is my mother tongue.”

“Honey Boo Boo's mother has a boyfriend and you're single...Just let that sink in for a minute.”

“I don't need drugs to have a good time, but I do need them to get through family functions.”

“When people ask for my advice, I advise them not to take my advice. That really screws them up.”

“A friend is someone who reaches for your hand, but touches your heart.”

“Does running away from your problems count as exercising?”

“Whoever said, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks," hasn't met my dog. I told him to play dead and after five straight days he's still going strong.”

“When writing the story of your life don't let anyone else hold your pen...”

“Just so ya know, sometimes I poke you while I am wearing socks.”

“Don't assume your partner knows about everything you expect in a relationship. Let them know. A relationship should be based on communication, not on assumptions.”

“Some people need to open their small minds instead of their big mouths.”

“I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, they represent every quality that women hate in a man.”

“While his life will be filled with nothing but regret for letting you go, yours will be filled with nothing but happiness for walking away.”

“Good friends don't let you do stupid things...... ALONE.”

“Relationships are like a Book. It takes years to write but a second to burn.”

“Evil feeds off a source of apathy, weak in the mind, and of course you have to be. Less than a man, more like a thing, no knowledge you're nothing, knowledge is king. -Kool Moe Dee”

“Did it all for you to say, you never wanted me that way. - Radiohead”

“Never let the things you WANT, Make you Forget the things you HAVE. ”

“Men interact by insulting each other but they really don't mean it. Women interact by complimenting each other but they really don't mean it either.”

“There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating Pain 3. Stepping on a Lego”

“I always think of something sad when chopping onions so that I kill two birds with one stone.”

“Actions speak louder than words. Your words mean nothing to me when your actions are telling me different.”

“Some things can never be forgotten or forgiven.”

“My life, My choices, My mistakes, My lessons, Not your business.”

“Information is not knowledge. Knowledge is not wisdom. Wisdom is not truth. Truth is not beauty. Beauty is not love. Love is not music. Music is THE BEST. -Frank Zappa”

“Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive your partner, and love the present moment for what its worth. There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now, you just have to want to see them.”

“I don't regret my past. I only regret wasting time on the wrong people.”

“Music is an outburst of the soul. -Frederick Delius”

“Fate chooses your family, you choose your friends.”

“A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second and stops the third.”

“The road to love is full of danger signs. -Elvis”

“Wonder is the basis of worship.”

“I wish I could just CONTROL + ALT + DELETE this entire day.”

“Just because you make new friends does not mean you have to erase old ones.”

“You laugh, I laugh, You cry, I cry, You jump of a bridge, I will miss you!”

“Most people like waking up in the morning to see the comments and likes that their status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!”

“It sucks when you realize you rejected other people for a person who wasted your time.”

“Music touches us emotionally, where words alone can't. -Johnny Depp”

“Music is to the soul what words are to the mind. -Modest Mouse”

“Life, he realized, was much like a song. In the beginning there is mystery, in the end there is confirmation, but it's in the middle where all the emotion resides to make the whole thing worthwhile. -Nicholas Sparks”

“I often think in music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music. -Albert Einstein”

“One good thing about music, when it hits you, you feel no pain. -Bob Marley”

“You guys do great work together, just look at how I turned out. Happy anniversary!”

“The first 50 years of marriage are always the hardest. Happy Anniversary!”

“A perfect relationship isn't actually ever perfect. It's just one where both people never give up. Happy Anniversary!”

“All this time I have been putting together the puzzle of my life, and in the last year I realized, the last piece is you. Happy 1st Anniversary!”

“Love begins in a moment, grows over time, and lasts for eternity. I'm enjoying our eternity! Happy Anniversary!”

“Be strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait for what you deserve.”

“A smile is a sign of joy. A hug is a sign of love. A laugh is a sign of happiness and having a friend like me... well, that's just a sign of your good judgment!”

“We have three types of friends in life: Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.”

“Acting stupid, laughing at nothing, and making fun of ourselves is just what we do.<3”

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.”

“Happy Anniversary to the one I'll always want, even when I'm too old to remember what I'm supposed to want you for.”

“Our Anniversary is a time to celebrate the joys of today, the memories of yesterday, and the hopes of tomorrow.”

“If you believe in forever, then life is just a one night stand. If there's a rock and roll heaven, well, you know they got a hell of a band. -The Righteous Brothers”

“Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding everything you see. -The Beatles”

“We're trapped in a world that's troubled with pain. As long as a man has the strength to dream, he can redeem his soul and fly. -Elvis”

“Little things, they can pull you under. Live your life filled with joy and wonder. -R.E.M.”

“Now I think I understand, how the world can overcome a man. -Avenged Sevenfold”

“If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied, illuminate the No's on their Vacancy signs. If there's no one to guide you when your soul departs, then I will follow you into the dark. -Death Cab for Cutie”

“My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.”

“The glory of Christianity is to conquer by forgiveness.”

“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.”

“Nothing is more honorable than a grateful heart. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Oh, I didn't tell you... Then It must be none of your business.”

“A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.”

“If Monday had a face, I'd punch it.”

“My girlfriend is like a trampoline. I don't have one...”

“Me, trying to explain to my kid what a jukebox was: "You know, kinda like a 700 lb. iPod."”

“Women stop trying to fix men when they realize it's more fun to break them. ”

“If the doctor says you only have six months to live, get married immediately. This will make the six months seem like forever.”

“75% of my regrets involve hitting "send".”

“Facebook should allow you to automatically de-friend your ex from all of your friends. ”

“Believe me, I have been trying really hard to pay attention to what you have to say, but somehow, "not giving a crap" always get in the way. ”

“"Long story short" is usually when I start listening.”

“Don't worry, the right person is out there for everyone. You'll probably never find them, or screw it up when you do, but they're out there.”

“Hey, person I went to high school with: If your Facebook friend request is more communication than we had in high school, the answer is no.”

“If I remember New Year's Eve, something has gone seriously wrong.”

“If you read my entire Facebook timeline from the beginning, you can witness my descent into madness.”

“You know what I HATE? People who answer their own questions.”

“When my wife is angry with me, instead of giving me the silent treatment, she just keeps talking.”

“I'm not dangerously unbalanced. I'd say I'm gracefully insane.”

“I've been sober for 157 days now. Not in a row, but still. ”

“People like you are the reason people like me take pills. ”

“I'm on this great new diet where I tell everyone about it and then it doesn't work. ”

“The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.”

“Hey, idiot, know how I know you're not writing your own status? Because you spelled everything right.”

“I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.”

“Thanks for accepting my friends request on facebook even though it was soley so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.”

“My taste in music ranges from "You NEED to hear this" to "please don't judge me".”

“It appears my back was made for stabbing...”

“Take care with your thoughts when you are alone and take care with your words when you are with people.”

“When I die, I want catnip to be planted over my grave. Then, all the stray cats will flock to my grave and rub all over it, and people will think I was some kind of cat god.”

“Texting + Facebook = Textbook.. so I'm studying right?”

“There are two types of people I can't stand. Nosy people, and people who won't tell me what's going on.”

“Santa has elves. America has China.”

“The moment you feel like you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment you should absolutely walk away.”

“When advertising your business on the side of your car it's probably a good idea not to drive like a complete jerk! ”

“Facebook: Where people go to re-experience their childhood rejection & acceptance issues all over again.”

“Don't make so many promises if you can't even keep one.”

“You can't trust anybody these days...you think you have a great friend until you turn around and realize they have a knife 6 inches deep in your back.”

“Some friends are like pennies: Two-faced & worthless.”

“You've got this life and while you've got it, you'd better kiss like you only have one moment, try to hold someone's hand like you will never get another chance to, look into people's eyes like they're the last you'll ever see, watch someone sleeping like there's no time left, jump if you feel like jumping, run if you feel like running, play music in your head when there is none, and eat cake like it's the only one left in the world!”

“Yay! We aren't divorced yet! Happy Anniversary!”

“It's not the Years in your Life that counts, it's the Life in your Years! Happy Anniversary!”

“Happy Anniversary! May we never give up on trying to change each other...”

“Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.”

“Don't put words in my mouth, I've got plenty to say. Don't tell me how to live my life, I do things my own way.”

“I told you I needed you, you told me the same. One of us is a liar and here's a hint: It's not me.”

“I don't care if you don't like me...I wasn't put on earth to entertain you.”

“The more guys I get to know, the more I love my cats.”

“If you can???t figure out where you stand with someone, it might be time to stop standing, and start walking.”

“Grudges are a waste of perfect happiness. Laugh when you can, apologize when you should, and let go of what you can't change.”

“The past is a bucket of ashes, so live not in your yesterdays, nor just for tomorrow, but in the here and now. Keep moving, forget past problems and remember, no one can predict the future.”

“Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energy on moving forward toward finding the answer.”

“Lots of people say it's hard to find a true Best Friend, but that's only because the best ones are already taken by me...”

“Love begins in a moment, grows over time, and lasts for eternity.”

“There is no feeling more comforting and consoling than knowing you are right next to the one you love.”

“I only want to be with you twice... now, and forever. Happy Anniversary!”

“I cannot begin to imagine a life without you in it. The amazing memories that we have created together don't even compare to the love that we share.”

“Love is the best refreshment in life.”

“To the most beautiful couple in the land, May your anniversary be Happy and Grand. Happy Anniversary!”

“When you stopped believing in me, I did too.”

“Everything in the world seems to be getting more expensive...except for some people I know...they are getting cheaper.”

“Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.”

“It is not Happy people who are THANKFUL, it is THANKFUL people who are Happy.”

“The more you are THANKFUL, the more you have to be THANKFUL FOR.”

“If you lose one sense, your other senses are enhanced. That's why people with no sense of humor have an increased sense of self-importance. ”

“You gotta love Superbowl Sunday! A day where overweight, middle-aged, balding men sit on their couches, chugging beer and scarfing food, screaming at 20 year old athletes that they're doing it all wrong. ”

“Apparently dyslexia is not a good excuse for driving 53 in a 35.”

“Music expresses that which cannot be put into words and that which cannot remain silent. -Victor Hugh”

“Friends are flowers in the garden of life.”

“To be content doesn't mean you don't desire more, it means you're thankful for what you have and that you have patience for what's to come.”

“I am updating my Facebook status in the car. No worries, I'm in the passenger seat! Which makes it more difficult to drive, but it fools the cops.”

“Don't grow up, it's a Trap!”

“Thinks that Facebook has ruined school reunions. Now everyone knows you"re full of crap before you get there...”

“You can't force someone to love you. You can only stalk them and hope for the best. ”

“I'm guessing that the actual process of giving birth is what led to the extinction of the unicorn. ”

“Sometimes, I wish I could delete other people's Facebook Status updates.”

“If I ever get a jury summons, I figure I can just send them a link to my Facebook profile to get out of it.”

“"Dammit Im Mad" is spelled the same way backwards.”

“I carry a "get out of jail free" card in my wallet. Just in case.”

“I will not delete you or block you. I am keeping you there so you will be able to see how happy I am without you.”

“I don't like thinking before I say something. I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.”

“I'm trying realllly hard to find a good excuse...oh wait there is no good excuse for cheating in a relationship.”

“It is in our lives and not our words that our religion must be read.”

“Anger is a feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.”

“I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would learn to manage their stupidity.”

“Live each day, as if it we're your last. It's written in the stars, your destiny is cast. -Elvis”

“If you're looking for the wrong answers, you have come to the right place.”

“It takes a lot of energy to get angry. I don't care to use my energy that way.”

“Happy anniversary to a couple whose love and devotion after so many years continues to freak the hell out of everyone.”

“If I don't clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded people for a febreeze commerical.”

“Was it love or was it the idea of being in love? -Pink Floyd”

“Are you always this dumb or are you making a special effort today?”

“Closing all the internet windows by the time your boss gets to your desk is like getting the keys into the door before the killer gets you.”

“I'm only responsible for what I say, not for what you understand. ”

“Have you ever looked at someone and thought, "Yep, you definitely have a person in your basement."?”

“Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness has never hired a hitman!”

“My wife has been giving me the silent treatment today. I just wish I knew what I did to upset her. So I can do it again when she starts to talk.”

“Obviously medicine companies don't know what fruit tastes like.”

“Never forget what someone says to you when they are angry...that's when the truth comes out.”

“Definition of EX: Thanks for the EXperience. Our time has EXpired. Now EXit my life.”

“Some people pretend to care just to get a better seat to watch your struggle. Every helping hand is not always there to help.”

“Music is the wine that fills the cup of silence. -Robert Fripp”

“I was super lazy today. It's like regular lazy but I wore a cape.”

“Go ahead, judge me. Just remember to be perfect for the rest of your life!!”

“I text/chat with you because I want to have a conversation with you...Not to get one word answers.”

“A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized, the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed with her hair done. She never swears, behaves gracefully in all situations and all circumstances. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. Post this as your status if you, too, suspect that you might be a man.”

“To find your cool robot name, take the first 16 digits of your credit card & combine it with the expiration date and security code. What's yours?”

“Judging you one status at a time.”

“If someone tells you you're their "everything", you should expect to be murdered at some point. ”

“Instead of a card, you should get a trophy for putting up with me another year! Happy Anniversary!”

“On our anniversary let's celebrate being one year closer to death do us part.”

“War is not the answer, because only love can conquer hate. -Marvin Gaye”

“You lied when you said you loved me and I have no cause to doubt you. But I'd much rather going on hearing your lies than go on living without you. -Elvis”

“Ashes and diamonds, foe and friend, we are all equal in the end. -Pink Floyd”

“My death will probably be caused by being sarcastic at the wrong time.”

“Here's my cup of care. Oh look it's empty.”

“Some status updates need a "This is why I unfriended you" button.”

“A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never let her down. He will comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions. He will enable her to be confident, sexy, seductive and invincible ...No, wait. Sorry. I'm thinking of wine. It's wine that does all that. Never mind.”

“I don't need to walk a mile in your shoes. I can see you're a train wreck from all the way over here.”

“Facebook is like a fridge. If you're bored you keep opening & closing it every few minutes to see if there's anything good there.”

“Opinions are like Facebook accounts. Everybody has one, and everyone thinks theirs is the most interesting.”

“Impatience comes to those who wait.”

“Roses are red, Facebook is blue, 0 mutual friends, Who the hell are you?”

“Don't you hate when you buy a bag of air and you find some chips in it? ”

“If women ran the world, there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other. ”

“Men are a lot like shopping carts: When you finally find one without a screwed up wheel, it already has a wife pushing it around.”

“Natural selection sure is taking its sweet time with some people.”

“It's not that I don't believe you, I'm just 100% sure you're full of crap.”

“Whenever I say, "I don't mean that in a bad way," I usually do.”

“If you think things improve with age, attend a class reunion.”

“Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to us ladies to stomp the hell out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.”

“Today is going to be another exhausting day of judging people and pretending to listen.”

“Teaching your kids to swim isn't hard...You just throw them in the deep end and either they learn to swim or you get your social life back. ”

“likes to keep a picture of myself in my wallet so when people show me pictures of their kids, I can show them a pic of me not giving a sh*t.”

“At the beginning of a relationship, I wonder if women rub their hands together and say "Let the games begin!" ”

“Decided to friend my girlfriend on Facebook to get status updates on our relationship. ”

“A girl wearing a pink jersey is not a fan of football. She's just trying to sleep with someone who is. ”

“I think I might be coming down with a "woman cold", it's sorta like a "man cold", but somehow I can manage to clean, do laundry, and take care of myself.”

“Having female friends is a lot like having a pet tiger. Fun in theory, but you're always waiting for the day they turn on you.”

“I don't have health insurance but I do have car insurance so whenever I get sick I just go crash my car into a tree.”

“The awkward moment when you accidentally press "like" on your ex's status update. ”

“If a robber ever broke into my home, I'd just pretend to be a robber too. We'll laugh & hug and then he'll leave because I was there first. ”

“If I'm ever in jail my one call is going to be to the Koolaid guy.”

“On the Internet, you can pretend to be anyone or anything. I'm amazed that so many people choose to be complete idiots. ”

“When the car in front of me is driving slow, I move to the side a little bit so the cars behind me can see I'm not causing the traffic.”

“It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name. ”

“"Said No One Ever" -Says Everyone all the time... ”

“I'm so poor that if someone were to try to rob me they would laugh and give me money. ”

“I want an application that will automatically unfriend all the people who've been friends with me for over a year and have never liked or commented on any of my posts or messaged me.”

“I guess I should have been a mechanic. Apparently all I'm attracted to are tools.”

“I can't believe its been a year since I didn't become a better person.”

“My New Year's resolution is to take up a new hobby, like jogging. I just hope it doesn't interfere with my other hobby: lying.”

“In addition to "most recent" or "top stories" I wish Facebook had a sort option of "drama of the day".”

“I am going to log off my phone early tonight and spend some quality time with my wife because I am a good husband and I left my phone charger at work.”

“"You should take a picture of that meal and share it with me and everyone you know on Facebook!" -Said No One, Ever. ”

“I like those birthday reminders on Facebook because sometimes they remind me of the friends I need to delete.”

“If you never jumped from one couch to the other to save yourself from the lava then you didn't have a childhood.”

“I'm like a well oiled machine that someone forgot to oil. ”

“Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job.”

“I got on the treadmill each day last week. This week, I'm up to an hour a day. I'm slowly building up to actually turning it on some time in the future.”

“I bought a self-help DVD online, called "How to Handle Disappointment". When the package arrived it was empty.”

“Looking at all the posts I make on facebook, you would never know I have a job. Looking at my paycheck makes me feel the same way.”

“I would switch cell phone providers if one had an "unsend my drunk text" option.”

“The easiest way for me to tell if a woman is really listening to me is if she rolls her eyes. ”

“Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I make! Then they call me ugly and poor. ”

“If you are always posting status updates about your HATERS, chances are I'm one of them.”

“People with no talent or skills have really got it made. No one will ever ask them to help out with anything.”

“If you go for a jog and you don't post it on Facebook, have you really jogged? ”

“How come Mario can smash through bricks, yet he dies when he touches a freakin' turtle?”

“He said the spark between us was gone. So I tasered him. I'll ask him again when he wakes up. ”

“Don't act so relieved, I don't actually forgive people, I just pretend like everythings ok and wait for my turn to destroy them.”

“My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life... ”

“Went to the doctor today...ugh, it's way worse than I thought...”

“Once I delete your number you're deleted from my life.”

“What goes around comes around, that's what people say. So all the pain you caused me will come back to you someday.”

“Shout out to old people for graduating high school without Google.”

“Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?”

“The only thing Google can't tell you is what you forgot that you wanted to look up.”

“If I had access to time travel, I'd use it to go back and cash in on some of those naps I was always refusing as a kid.”

“I'm not pessimistic, I'm just optimistic that a bunch of crappy things will continue to happen.”

“It's only a matter of time until Facebook adds ???friend-zoned??? as a relationship status.”

“In school, the only thing group projects ever taught me was that I hate other people.”

“When I was a kid, my father convinced me that the ice cream truck only played music when it was sold out... Well played Dad, well played.”

“Dear Axe Body Spray, Please put a suggested serving size on your bottles. Sincerely, Choking Girls Everywhere”

“I don't have bad handwriting. I have my own Font.”

“Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.”

“I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes.”

“I decorated my bedroom to look like a classroom so I can fall asleep faster.”

“During exams, students look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.”

“Maybe you should go eat some makeup. That way, you can be pretty on the inside.”

“Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.”

“Years go by, Will I still be waiting, For somebody else to understand. Years go by, If I'm stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds Raining in head. Years go by, Will I choke on my tears till finally there is nothing left... - Tori Amos”

“People return your phone calls faster if you start voicemails with "by the time you hear this I'll be dead."”

“Sometimes I wonder if the old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting for their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!? ”

“You know you really love somebody when you despise them a little, too.”

“I really think you should change your mind. The one you have now SUCKS!”

“Collecting the most friends on facebook means nothing. Quality over Quantity every time.”

“No matter how well you think you know someone, they will eventually show their true colors.”

“Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same... ??? The Fray”

“So don't you worry your pretty little mind because people throw rocks at things that shine. -Taylor Swift”

“The past is only the future with the lights on. -Blink 182”

“Music... can name the unnameable and communicate the unknowable. -Leonard Bernstein”

“We are the music makers, and we are the dreamers of dreams. ”

“If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC -Kurt Vonnegut”

“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music. -Aldous Huxley ”

“People haven't always been there for me but music always has. -Taylor Swift”

“Thank you for providing such a stable, successful, and long-lasting example of love. What you lack in perfection, you made up in consistency. Happy Anniversary!”

“Marriage is getting to have a sleep over with your best friend, every single night of the week.”

“Today we celebrate your most difficult accomplishment, staying married to me all these years.”

“A perfect relationship isn't actually ever perfect. It's just one where both people never give up. ”

“Sexiness wears thin after awhile and looks fade, but to be married to a man who makes you laugh everyday, ah, now that's a real treat. Happy Anniversary!”

“If I were a zombie I would eat you last! Happy Anniversary!”

“After all these years you've been with me, I've realized, love is truly blind! Happy Anniversary!”

“Congratulations on defying marriage statistics! Happy Anniversary!”

“Isn't it remarkable how long we've tolerated each other...Happy Anniversary!”

“When I say I love you forever, Forever is the rest of my life.”

“I always feel sorry for the person behind me at the bottle return line. ”

“There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you???ve had enough.”

“There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page or closing the book.”

“Friends are there to catch you when you trip and fall, but best friends are there to laugh at you on your way down...”

“True friendship is like good health, we don't realize the value of it until it is lost...”

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints on your heart.”

“Better to have an enemy who slaps you in the face than a friend who stabs you in the back.”

“True friends say good things behind you back and bad things to your face.”

“Best friends are those people who make your problems their problems so that you don't have to go through them alone.”

“A true friend is someone who accepts your past, supports your present and encourages your future.”

“A best friend understands you just a little bit more than you understand yourself.”

“No family is perfect. We argue, we fight, we even stop talking to each other at times but in the end, family is family... the love will always be there.”

“Three things cannot be hidden... The Sun, The Moon and The TRUTH.”

“A Mistake is just a single page of life but a relationship is a complete book. So don't lose a full book for a single page.”

“Waiting for someone else to make you happy is the surest way to be sad.”

“True love isn't love at first sight but love at every sight.”

“It doesn't matter where you go in life or what you do, it's who you have beside you.”

“10 years ago today I walked down the aisle and promised to love, honor and cherish my lover and best friend. It is a decision I have NEVER regretted!”

“And even though we ain't got money, I'm so in love with you, honey, And everything will bring a chain of love. And in the morning, when I rise, You bring a tear of joy to my eyes, And tell me everything is gonna be alright. -Kenny Loggins”

“On this anniversary, we may not have wealth, but we do have each other and that is worth more than anything in the world.”

“The first time I looked in your eyes I knew that I would do anything for you, The first time you touched my face, I felt something I have never felt with anyone else.”

“Happy Anniversary to the most amazing man I've ever known! Thank you for loving me. I love you.”

“Marriage is like a pack of cards. In the beginning it was hearts and a diamond and now all I'm wanting in my hand is a club and a spade.”

“All this time I have been putting together the puzzle of my life, then I realized, the last piece is you.”

“Married couples who love each other can tell each other a thousand things without even talking.”

“May this day of your anniversary make your relationship stronger and even more amazing than it already is. Wishing you a Happy Anniversary!”

“A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance, and tenacity. Happy Anniversary!”

“It's better to burn out, than to fade away. -Neil Young”

“An honest man's pillow is his peace of mind. -John Cougar Mellencamp”

“All of us get lost in the darkness, dreamers learn to steer by the stars. -Rush”

“All lies and jest, still, a man hears what he wants to hear and disregards the rest. -Simon and Garfunkel”

“Even the genius asks questions. -Tupac”

“If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. -Rush”

“We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl...Year after Year -Pink Floyd”

“I have conquered the world, all but one thing did I have. Without love, I had nothing. -Elvis”

“Wise men say, that only fools rush in, but I can't help falling in love with you. -Elvis”

“Memories, pressed between the pages of my mind. Memories, sweetened through the ages just like wine. -Elvis”

“Never wait for tomorrow, what if tomorrow never comes? -Elvis”

“Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arrive, you were only waiting for this moment to be free. -The Beatles, Blackbird”

“How can you lose something you never had, I tell myself when I'm feeling sad. -Elvis”

“You're just an empty cage girl, If you kill the bird. -Tori Amos”

“It is only when men begin to worship that they begin to grow.”

“If you don't want a sarcastic answer, don't ask a stupid question.”

“Be Thankful for the Difficult People in your Life, they show exactly who you do not want to be.”

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow. -Melody Beattie”

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it. ”

“Be thankful for what you have and you'll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don't have, you will never, ever have enough.”

“Sarcasm... because punching people in the face is illegal.”

“You have a very strong grasp of the obvious.”

“I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.”

“I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was blaming you.”

“I just LOVE it when people are overly sarcastic. No, really, it's great! Keep it up!”

“I am wondering why life keeps teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?”

“My GPS would make the perfect husband/wife...It sits quietly in the car, never complains about my driving, and when it has something to say, it says something useful. ”

“WARNING: Facebook contains traces of nuts.”

“People accuse me of being overly competitive. I'm not. Actually I'm the most non-competitive person in the world. No one even comes close.”

“I am an organ donor, but I'm pretty sure all they're going to use my liver for is "after" photos.”

“Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.”

“Wisdom doesn't always come with age. Sometimes age just shows up by itself.”

“I am wondering why the phrase, "It's none of my business" must always be followed by, "but"?”

“Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.”

“My favorite thing about camping is when I stay home & don't.”

“I think there's an idiot in every family. If you don't know who it is in yours...it's you. ”

“I sometimes wish that I WASN'T old enough to know better.”

“Life's like a bird, it's pretty cute until it craps all over you.”

“If I look intrigued while you're talking to me, it's because I'm thinking about how it would be possible to care less about what you're saying.”

“If I could choose any way to destroy the world, I'd delete Google. ”

“I'm not rude...I just wasn't taught to politely pretend to be nice to people I can't stand. ”

“It's cute the way you ignore the red squiggly line under all of your words. ”

“If you get the feeling something awesome just happened to the universe, it's because I just woke up. ”

“How to stop snoring: Place pillow tightly over partner's face, hold firmly until snoring stops, then delete this message. ”

“It was lucky that I went to see a fortune teller today. She warned me that somebody was going to scam me... I was more than happy to pay for that kind of information.”

“I forgot how to play "hard to get" but I'm getting pretty good at "hard to get away from". ”

“I thinkthat everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.”

“I'm going to have to start following my brain. My heart is clearly an idiot. ”

“There are no stupid questions, but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots.”

“I have a strong will, but a weak won't.”

“In life, it seems the group of people who are easily offended and the group of people who are easily confused tend to be the same group.”

“Every time you post a cryptic Facebook status update about someone because you don't have the guts to say who you are talking about, I'm going to assume it's about me.”

“Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of their Facebook page.”

“I am happy to report that it's been another successful day of not getting a single thing accomplished.”

“If I send you a text and you don't respond, and then I see you update Facebook at the same time, you're dead to me.”

“You had me at "Hell no."”

“Friends don't tag friends in hideous Facebook pictures.”

“"In an unhealthy relationship" should definitely be a Facebook option.”

“You and I were meant to be... as far away from each other as possible.”

“What doesn't kill you only makes me wish I was stronger.”

“Today is a perfect day to continue not giving a crap.”

“deletes enough status updates to know that I should never get a tattoo...”

“Hey Facebook, If I have 65 friends in common with someone and we're still not friends, it means I don't like them. Take a hint.”

“Do not raise your voice. Improve your argument. ”

“I wish the best for my ex-girlfriend. I really do. I hope she meets someone honest, friendly, and kind...cause, you know, opposites attract. ”

“If people could hear the five seconds after we hit "end" on a call, we would all have no friends.”

“Do I miss being married? Sure, what could be better than being in a relationship with a female, bipolar version of Darth Vader?”

“Back in my day, you knew who your real friends were because they ranked you in order of importance on MySpace.”

“When life rains on your parade, get out the Slip-n-Slide.”

“It's a shame that stupidity can't be converted into a usable energy source.”

“I listen to all of of the voices in my head...except the one named Reason. He makes NO sense to me. ”

“This status is just a bookmark so I know where I left off reading. ”

“Of all of the things I miss the most, my wife says the toilet is the most annoying.”

“Deep thought and deep sleep can look a lot alike. At least, that's what I tell my boss. ”

“Those annoying subscription cards that fall out of magazines are the earliest forms of pop-up ads.”

“A friend is one who believes in you when you have stopped believing in yourself.”

“Don't you love that awesome moment when your mom thinks that you have no money for school and gives you more.”

“People who don't know me think I'm quiet... People who do know me wish I was! ”

“Each Anniversary stands for the repetition of promises made with each other as our love gets stronger.”

“It's going to take a lot more than a few LIKES on my Facebook page to make me forget what a jerk you were in high school.”

“High 5's are a great way to slap someone in the face by "accident". ”

“If I had a kid, I'd name him Marbles. That way if I ever lost him I could tell people I lost my Marbles and they'd think I was being funny instead of being a neglectful parent.”

“New Year's Resolutions are for people who don't have the willpower to stay the same. ”

“A good relationship doesn't need promises, terms and conditions. It just needs a *She* who can trust and a *He* who can be loyal.”

“When I say I love you forever, Forever is the rest of my life. Happy Anniversary!”

“If you don't thank GOD for every smile, then you have no right to blame him for every tear.”

“People like to bring up your past, when your present and future look better than theirs.”

“After 15 years together, my favorite base is still first! Happy Anniversary!”

“When people hurt you, think of them like sand paper. They may scratch and hurt you but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.”

“Never blame yourself alone for any misfortune in life, because no single raindrop is responsible for a flood.”

“Whenever it hurts to look back, and you're too scared to look ahead, you can always look beside you and your best friend will be there holding your hand.”

“likes to spend this day remembering all of the idiots who have come and gone in my life.”

“is on watch for any high jinks, horseplay or shenanigans today. Don't even think about it. ”

“Gullible people should just avoid Facebook for the next 24 hours.”

“When you were young, and your heart, was an open book. You used to say, live and let live. -Paul McCartney”

“Perfume was first created to mask the stench of foul and offensive odors... Spices and bold flavorings were created to mask the taste of putrid and rotting meat... What then was music created for? Was it to drown out the voices of others, or the voices within ourselves? -Emilie Autumn”

“Pop music often tells you everything is OK, while rock music tells you that it's not OK, but you can change it. -Bono”

“Music is the universal language of mankind. -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow”

“A painter paints pictures on canvas. But musicians paint their pictures on silence. -Leopold Stokowski”

“You're like a song that I heard when I was a little kid but forgot I knew until I heard it again. -Maggie Stiefvater”

“We should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. -Nietzsche”

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination and life to everything. -Plato”

“None but ourselves can free our minds. -Bob Marley”

“Life is better with your best friend, that's why I Married mine!”

“Here's to another year of staying together for the kids.”

“It's pretty cool that we've been together for however long we've been together.”

“Let's celebrate our anniversary by reviewing which vows we still haven't broken.”

“"One thing kids like is to be tricked. For instance, I was going to take my little nephew to Disneyland, but instead I drove him to an old burned-out warehouse. 'Oh, no,' I said. 'Disneyland burned down.' He cried and cried, but I think that deep down, he thought it was a pretty good joke. I started to drive over to the real Disneyland, but it was getting pretty late." ~Jack Handey ”

“RIP {insert facebook friends name} I will never forget you...”

“One honest voice of a real friend, is louder then a million fake ones.”

“1 Year Down and Forever to Go, Happy Anniversary! ”

“It doesn't matter where you go in life, or what you do, it's who you have beside you. I am truly blessed to be married to my soul mate for 25 years today..”

“I want to wish a Happy Anniversary to the greatest couple! May your anniversary enhance your love and understanding of each other.”

“Happy Anniversary sweet heart! Words are not enough to say how I feel about you. I love you.”

“We're caught in a trap, But I can't walk out, Because I love you too much baby... -Elvis”

“Through chaos as it swirls, it's us against the world. -Coldplay”

“Life is full of Give and Take, Give Thanks and take NOTHING for granted. Happy Thanksgiving!”

“Everyday I'm thankful for NIGHTS that turned into MORNINGS, FRIENDS that turned into FAMILY, DREAMS that turned into REALITY, and LIKES that turned into LOVE.”

“There is always something to be thankful for!”

“You sound way more intelligent with your mouth shut.”

“Please tell me about your problems again...Cause I care SO much about them.”

“That sounds so cool! It's a shame I'm not interested...”

“I'm impressed, I've never met such a small mind inside such a big head before.”

“If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person on this planet.”

“I think that some of you make impulsive, poorly thought out decisions. We should hang out more. ”

“I don't mean to brag, but I have completely mastered the right way to do everything wrong.”

“Facebook: A place where all your past mistakes will eventually try to befriend you.”