When I was a kid, my father convinced me that the ice cream truck only played music when it was sold out... Well played Dad, well played.
-funny joke status
It's only a matter of time until Facebook adds “friend-zoned” as a relationship status.
-hilarious fb status
I'm not pessimistic, I'm just optimistic that a bunch of crappy things will continue to happen.
If I had access to time travel, I'd use it to go back and cash in on some of those naps I was always refusing as a kid.
-hilarious status messages
The only thing Google can't tell you is what you forgot that you wanted to look up.
-funny google quotes
Why doesn't someone invent a clear toaster so you can see how toasted your toast is while it's toasting?
-hilarious fb statuses