Today is going to be another exhausting day of judging people and pretending to listen.
-sarcastic facebook status updates
Men are like a fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to us ladies to stomp the hell out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
-funny sayings about men
If you think things improve with age, attend a class reunion.
Whenever I say, "I don't mean that in a bad way," I usually do.
-funny mean statuses
It's not that I don't believe you, I'm just 100% sure you're full of crap.
-sarcastic status messages
Natural selection sure is taking its sweet time with some people.
-sarcastic facebook posts