I think that some of you make impulsive, poorly thought out decisions. We should hang out more.
-clever quotes for status update
All my pictures on facebook are fake, but if you want to see what I really look like, look out your window.
-creepy facebook status
is pretty tired of these kids running lemonade stands acting like they've never even heard of vodka before.
-funny drinking status updates
I'm gonna make a Twitter account called "that creepy guy in the white van" and follow everyone.
-super cool facebook status
Remember the good ol' days when people robbed gas stations...not the other way around?
-cool Facebook status
When your wife asks,"Do I look fat?" the correct response is, "Do I look stupid?"
-marriage sayings funny