I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
-angry status for girlfriend
just taped magnets to the bottom of my empty coffee cup and attached it to the top of my car. Can't wait to see how many people will try and flag me down..
I don't think first three letters in diet are accidental.
-funny quotes about losing weight
Is singing, "If you're angry & you know it punch their face!"
-funny status messages
Like this status if you know someone who's only alive because you don't want to go to jail.
-very angry status
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
-witty status updates