You are viewing FUNNY Statuses and JOKE Quotes for Facebook.

I am updating my Facebook status in the car. No worries, I'm in the passenger seat! Which makes it more difficult to drive, but it fools the cops.

-funny face book quotes

I wouldn't have to manage my anger if people would learn to manage their stupidity.

-good insults

Whoever said money doesn't buy happiness has never hired a hitman!

-best facebook posts

If I don't clean my house soon, someone is going to bring in blindfolded people for a febreeze commerical.

-funny status updates about life

To find your cool robot name, take the first 16 digits of your credit card & combine it with the expiration date and security code. What's yours?

-best facebook status updates

A real woman always keeps her house clean and organized, the laundry basket is always empty. She's always well dressed with her hair done. She never swears, behaves gracefully in all situations and all circumstances. She has more than enough patience to take care of her family, always has a smile on her lips, and a kind word for everyone. Post this as your status if you, too, suspect that you might be a man.

-funny sayings about women

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