Math questions are so dumb. They're like, "If I have 5 bottles in one hand and 6 in the other, what do I have?" Oh I dunno, a drinking problem maybe?!
-funniest facebook statuses
I would never take a bullet for anyone, because taking something that's not yours is called stealing and stealing is just plain wrong.
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Every time this status gets a 'Like' a member of Congress gets kicked in the groin.
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You had better look like your profile photo, or you're buying me drinks until you do!
-status about drinking
Let's run away together.. jk, I have asthma.
-silly facebook statuses
I gave blood for the local blood drive today. Someone's blood alcohol level is going UP!
-facebook statuses funny