If I'm ever in jail my one call is going to be to the Koolaid guy.
-good Facebook statuses
If a robber ever broke into my home, I'd just pretend to be a robber too. We'll laugh & hug and then he'll leave because I was there first.
-clever funny status updates
Having female friends is a lot like having a pet tiger. Fun in theory, but you're always waiting for the day they turn on you.
-funny status about women
Teaching your kids to swim isn't hard...You just throw them in the deep end and either they learn to swim or you get your social life back.
-best Facebook statuses
Men are a lot like shopping carts: When you finally find one without a screwed up wheel, it already has a wife pushing it around.
-sayings about men
If women ran the world, there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.
-funny posts about women