Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
-famous Facebook status
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
-angry Facebook status
Old people at weddings always poke me n say "You're Next". So I started doing the same to them at funerals....
-epic facebook statuses
Drugs may lead to nowhere, but at least it's the scenic route.
-funny things to post
"Stalking" is such a strong word, I prefer "Intense Research of an Individual."
-funny stalking quotes
If the first thing you see after you die is a handbasket, you're in trouble.
-the best Facebook status