I always keep a golf club by the side of my bed when I'm asleep. Just so if anyone breaks in, they'll know I play golf and that I'm too boring to have anything worth stealing.
-funny facebook status lines
Does running away from your problems count as exercising?
-funny facebook quotes
There are 3 levels of pain. 1. Pain 2. Excruciating Pain 3. Stepping on a Lego
-funny status messages
Men interact by insulting each other but they really don't mean it. Women interact by complimenting each other but they really don't mean it either.
-quotes about men and women
Most people like waking up in the morning to see the comments and likes that their status received. I like waking up in the morning to see WTF I posted!
-facebook funny status
I'm on this great new diet where I tell everyone about it and then it doesn't work.
-awesome facebook posts