Sometimes I wonder if the old men sitting on the benches in the mall waiting for their wives to finish shopping were old when they sat down!?
-best status for Facebook
People return your phone calls faster if you start voicemails with "by the time you hear this I'll be dead."
-clever status messages
I live like I type, fast and with lots of mistakes.
-quotes about life
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
-clever status updates
I don't have bad handwriting. I have my own Font.
-funny witty status
What doesn't kill you only makes me wish I was stronger.
-status for your ex