Don't trust people that do acupuncture, they're back stabbers.
-awesome Facebook status
Whoever said "Procrastination doesn't pay" CLEARLY has never seen my average day at work.
-funny statuses about work
If you ever need nothing I am here for you.
It's ironic how the colors Red, White and Blue represent Freedom until they're flashing behind you.
-funny police quotes and sayings
"Google before you post" is the new "think before you speak".
-cool quotes for facebook
It's better to be wanted for murder than not to be wanted at all.
-sarcastic status messages