Thanks for accepting my friends request on facebook even though it was soley so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
-sarcastic facebook status
I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over them.
-funny wall posts for facebook
The guy who wrote the program that estimates how much time is left on a download did not take his job seriously at all.
-funny sarcastic facebook status
I've been sober for 157 days now. Not in a row, but still.
-drinking status updates
I'm not dangerously unbalanced. I'd say I'm gracefully insane.
-funny fb posts
You know what I HATE? People who answer their own questions.
-funny sarcastic posts